Please
by Lunatris262
Summary: Merlin is captured by slave traders and they know about his magic. He was taken right in front of Arthur, who found out about Merlin's magic when he tried to escape. Will Merlin make it out of there alive? Will he be the same? Will Arthur be the same? Around season 4 or 5 (when Arthur is king). Lancelot is alive. T for violence.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

Merlin POV:

I bite back a cry as the whip cracks down on my back for the tenth time. Thank the gods. It's over. I am shaking, my hands trembling. Arthur will come. He wouldn't leave me to die. Would he? Will he? No, we are friends. Or are we? I lied. I lied for four years. He saw me use magic. I never saw his reaction.

He saw me taken. Me trying to escape, with magic. I couldn't look at him. But, I did. Hopelessness and despair. Not anger. Is he angry? I never wanted to hurt him. Never. Never. Arthur please, forgive me. I can't use my magic, and it is about to kill me. Please hurry, Arthur. I don't want to suffer anymore.

I want this collar off. I want to be free. Do I even deserve freedom? My blood burns, magic boiling. My captors –no masters- throw me into the cage, once again. I scramble to the corner, now understanding Freya's pain. The shackles make my wrist raw and bloody.

My masters walk away, and I cry. I whisper, "Arthur, please, don't give up on me. I will do anything. Don't let them kill me. Don't let me suffer anymore. Arthur. Arthur. I will leave. I will never come back, if that's what you want. I will live in a cell. Arthur. Please. I am begging you." But, no Arthur comes. My friend doesn't appear. None of them do. Not Arthur. Not Gwaine. Not Leon or Percival. Not even Lancelot. "I'm sorry." I sob and gasp at the pain. "Please, Arthur. I need you."

Arthur POV:

I run my hands through my hair. Merlin. Merlin of all people. Four years. Four years of trust. At least from me. Four years of lies and deceit. Four years of friendship. He lied. And I am still going to save him. Because he is my best friend. And I can't bear to lose him.

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**Hi! It's Lunatris 262. I hope you liked this. Well, I am really sorry that this was so short. The rest should be longer. Because, well, I normally write long chapters. I normally post at least 3-4 times a week. If I don't, than something has gone terribly wrong. Like Arthur's death. I still can't get over that. I can't get over Freya's either. Should I bring her back? Tell me in reviews! Also, ideas are welcome. Criticism, as long as it isn't really rude. Comments, as long as not hate or cruel, are also very welcome. So, I will update soon! See you next chapter!**

**~Lunatris262~**


	2. Chapter 2

Hi! It's Lunatris262! Next chapter is up! Hope you like it!

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Merlin POV:

Stay away. Don't let them want to hurt you. Keep your mouth shut. Don't speak. Stay silent.

I stare into one of the iron bars the are in front of me. One of my pastimes, other than trying not to think. Just staring. "Boy!" My eyes dart around the camp. "Dinner."

The magic restraint made me weak and sick, "Give it to someone else." I am going to regret that.

"Then, go get some firewood."

"I can't, too weak." What happened to staying quiet?

My master looks at me. He is big and wears a bounty hunter uniform. Balding with slightly gray stubble. He and sneers, "Do you really think I heard your whispering? Do you really think I haven't noticed that you've stopped? You are useless. Did you honestly think that your king would come for you? A servant? A _sorcerer?"_ The words cut into me like a blade. "There is no king coming. He would never help a sorcerer."

I can't help but believe my master. It has been a month. And I am scared. I am going to be sold. And Arthur doesn't care. I am a sorcerer. A monster. I bury my face in my hands. He was my friend. Now, I am going to die. If this collar stays on me long enough, it will kill me. I will explode and it will probably feel good right about now. I am so scared. Not of death, but of how I will die. Arthur could kill me. I could die in this cage. I could kill myself. But, I never thought it would come to any of those. I thought that I would die by Arthur's side. I guess not. I never got to say goodbye to Gwen or Lancelot. Gwaine. Not even Gaius or my mother. Maybe my new owner will let me send a letter to them. Then, I can die. If I even make it until then.

"Your new mistress is coming soon." I have been sold. Back away. Into the corner. Don't let them see you cry. Don't cry. Back away. Stay there. They are going to kill you. Don't let them see you scared.

"I have been sold?" The man nods. "To who?"

"Hello, Merlin," an overly sweet voice says. Back away. My spine presses into the bars, opening so many cuts and wounds. Morgana comes up to the cage. Which is worse, Arthur or Morgana? Who is worse? "Don't be afraid. I am not going to hurt you." The man opens the door and Morgana steps in. Her green eyes have some hope in them, but kindness, too. I search them, for anything that would try to cause me harm. She puts a pale and slender hand toward my neck, I clench my eyes shut. All she does is unlock the collar. Then stands up. She extends a hand toward me, and I brace myself for the hit. When it doesn't happen, I open one eye, then the other. "Merlin, I told you, I am not going to hurt you. I promise."

Is it true? Is Morgana the one to trust? They unlock my shackles, too. "You aren't going to hurt me?" I ask her, sounding like a terrified child. Morgana shakes her head. "I am safe?" She nods and I hug my mistress, "Thank you," I sob into Morgana's shoulder.

"Come on, Merlin," Morgana says kindly, "Let's get you home." I snatch my whole body away, despite the pain it brings. She is taking me to Camelot. I am going to die. No. No. Her face is suddenly filled with concern, "Merlin, what's wrong?"

"I can't go back. I can't go to Camelot." Arthur is there. He might kill me. I want Arthur, but not for him to kill me.

Morgana giggles, "Oh, Merlin. I am not going to take you to Camelot. I am going to take you where I live. It is near Ealdor, you can see your mother. You can stay with me. I won't let anyone hurt you. I promise." I take Morgana's hand.

"Okay," I whisper. I am free. Morgana transports me to her house. She will protect me. I can be loyal again. This time, with no secrets.

Arthur POV:

"Oh, Merlin. It was all a lie, all an act. And I fell for it. I forgive everything. In fact, I'm not sure if there is anything to forgive. But, I am doing so anyway. I know why you lied. You didn't want to die. I was going to make magic legal. I know that it all isn't evil. It saved Gwen. _You_ saved Gwen. You aren't evil. I am so sorry. For everything. Please, Merlin, I am desperate. Desperate enough to say please. Please still be alive. Please still be my Merlin. Come back. I promise, I will never hurt you again. If you don't want to come to Camelot again, or if you don't ever want to see me again, I understand. But you will always be welcome, and I hope you can forgive me.

Your Friend, Arthur." I wrote it all down, in case Merlin doesn't want to listen to me. I will give him the letter, and leave. I hope he knows that I never wanted to hurt him. I am so sorry. I hope he comes back.

I ride with Gwaine, Lancelot, and Mordred. Mordred has become very quiet since Merlin was kidnapped. All three of them have, actually. Gwaine was itching to leave, he wouldn't even have any liquor, and when Gwaine doesn't have liquor, he means business. Lance just looks worried. I feel like my face almost mirrors his.

"I knew," Lancelot suddenly says.

"It's okay," I tell him, trying to get over the fact that Merlin trusted him more than me.

"He didn't tell me. I saw him, when we defeated the gryphon. It wasn't me. It was Merlin. Arthur, Merlin is stronger than he seems."

Gwaine cuts in, angry, "If Merlin is hurt, I am going to kill the men that did it. And then probably you, and I would hate for Merlin to see that," he is all serious. No jokes, no princess. I just want to get Merlin home.

"I know, Gwaine. I will probably kill myself if Merlin isn't alive. I am praying to every deity I can think of. Merlin is worth more than any ordinary knight. He is my friend and I don't care if you won't let me live that down."

Gwaine continues, "I know that, but does Merlin? You put him through abuse day in and day out. Because of all that abuse, he might think that you aren't coming. Or worse, he may think that you are coming with a death sentence."

"I almost did."

"What are you talking about, Arthur?" Gwaine is enraged right now.

"We all almost did. He was Dragoon. He walked up to the pyre to save Gwen. I almost executed my best friend. That's why he would stare into the fire. He was trying to overcome fear. I can't believe I just realized that. He would almost never watch executions." Merlin was right to be afraid. He was right and I am so sorry. I see his captors a few paces below. Fear grips my stomach, where is Merlin? Please be alive. I won't hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. I jump down right in front of the boss.

"Where is Merlin?" I say, sword pointed right at his chest.

"Oh, the boy. Red neckerchief?" I nod, remembering the ridiculous thing he would wear around his neck, "I sold him only hours ago. To the Lady Morgana. Oh, he was so broken." The man big, balding man seems to relish in the memory. I think it's revolting. "At first, he was so scared that she was going to hurt him. But then, after moments of coaxing, he came out. To see a familiar face and to have a chance to be free, he knew he couldn't pass that up. You may have lost him for good." I refrain from sobbing, I can't look weak in front of these monsters.

"What else?" Gwaine says, knowing that I can't keep it together much longer.

"He thought you would come. Any of you. I could hear him whispering. He begged for you to take him. Even though he realized that you would keep him in a cell or banish him. He pleaded that if he was to die, then for you to make it quick. Anything but fire. As time went on, he knew that you couldn't hear him. That you weren't coming. He became silent."

"Where did Morgana take Merlin?" I ask.

"How should I know? They transported." Oh, Merlin, I am so sorry.

I am so angry, "I should kill you. Merlin was innocent, and you took that from him."

The man chuckles, "You have no idea. He had so many scars. We only added to the bunch."

I would never hurt Merlin. There is not a kind soul that could, "If you find him, you are to bring him to Camelot, with no harm done to him. Got it?"

The man nods quickly as the knights have to almost drag me to my horse. We send a letter to the rest of the knights. I am going to find Merlin. Even if it's the last thing I do.

Merlin POV:

"Why are you helping me?" I ask Morgana.

"Because you are alone. I am the only one you can trust." Tears form in my eyes.

"Oh, come here, sweetie." I walk into Morgana's open arms, and sob into her shoulder. Why did I think she was evil? "I won't make you go back. You can stay here. I promise I won't hurt you. I won't let anyone hurt you. I can even take you to your mother. I forgive you for everything. You were blind to the truth. I am offering my friendship."

But, Arthur is my friend. No, was my friend. I am so confused. "I won't have to hurt anyone?"

"No, Merlin, not if you don't want to."

"Where is my cell?"

"Now, Merlin, why would you have to stay in a cell?"

"Because I am a servant and a monster."

"No, Merlin. You are my friend. I will bring you to your room and then you can rest. It is right across from mine. I will bring you some dinner. Okay?" I nod. Morgana leads me up some of the stairs. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Morgana is my friend and not Arthur. But, if that's true, why am I still afraid of both of them?

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**Okay. So, please tell me what you think. Is Morgana really good or is this just an act? I think I am going to change the POV way that I write, but don't worry, it will almost be the same. I should have the next chapter up in a day or two. Possibly three but it shouldn't take longer. Now, I have also heard that some people are planning on kidnapping Merlin and taking BBC's rights to it. Anyone who knows of this, PM me because I want a part in it. lol. Anyway, please review and I will try to update ASAP! Also, I plan on ending each Author's Note with a Merlin quote. Here we go,**

**"Sometimes you've got to do what you think is right, and damn the consequences." I think you all know who said this. Post in your review an answer and I will say who said it in the next chapter.**

**XOXO,**

**~Lunatris262~**


	3. Chapter 3

**I would like to thank the guest, DragonQueen, and aRangersHorseLovesApples for reviewing. Thank you so much and I was overjoyed to see at least some reviews. Now, here's the long awaited chapter!**

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Merlin POV: 3rd Person

Merlin sits on his bed, reading one of the books Morgana has in her small library. He has been here for two weeks. He was overjoyed to visit Hunith, but didn't know what to make of not seeing Arthur.

He hears a door close, and he panics. It was one of his "bad days". He hides in the closet like how Morgana taught him, with a fireball ready to aim. "Merlin, honey, it's Morgana. I found food, and brought your mother to have dinner with us." Now, Hunith wasn't exactly happy that her son was with Morgana instead of Arthur, but if he was safe, that was all that matters. Merlin comes out of the closet and runs to his mother.

"Mother!" he cries, embracing her, "I've missed you!" But, when he pulls back, a notices a bruise on his mother's face. It reminds him of when the men came to Ealdor and tried to take all the food, which resulted in his best childhood friend being killed. His face contorts with worry, "Who did that to you?"

"No one, Merlin. I'm fine. "

"No, it's not. I can't lose you." He grips Hunith's hand tightly, afraid that she might disappear right in front of him

"Ah! Merlin stop! Let go, you're hurting me!" Merlin pulls back at the words.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," with that he starts to back away. _Back away, stay away. You are a monster._ He dashes up the stairs back to his room.

Morgana looks at Hunith, "It's been one of his worse days. I thought that having you come by, would help him come back to us, in a sense. I'll go get him."

Morgana goes up the stairs to Merlin's room. He is hiding in the trapdoor, a place he had created on his own. "Merlin, no one is mad at you. Come out. Please."

"I don't want to hurt you," a shaky voice that should never come out of Merlin's mouth says.

"Honey, it was an accident. You were only trying to help." Morgana extends a hand to her friend, "Come on, sweetie. Hunith isn't angry." Morgana has truly come to love Merlin. She doesn't like the empty feeling she used to have. She doesn't want the throne or Arthur's blood. She just wants to go back home. To Camelot.

"Mother isn't angry?" Morgana shakes her head as Merlin takes her hand. Merlin walks down the stairs, "Sorry, Mum."

"It's okay, Merls. I'm fine." Neither of them speak of the incident nor the bruise that night. When Hunith has to go, Merlin offers to walk her back. At first, she declines but after seeing the hurt look on Merlin's face she agrees.

Once they make it there, Merlin kisses his mother goodbye, "Promise me that you will take care of yourself. I can't lose you." Hunith nods, "I'm serious! I can't deal with another blow! I feel like I lost Arthur and all of my friends. If I lose you or if Gana turns on me, it's over."

"If I get the slightest idea that I am in danger, I will come to you. I promise." Then, the mother and son go separate ways. Merlin is getting the feeling that he is being followed. _It's fine. You are almost there. _ He is only about two minutes from Morgana's. But then, he hears something in the bushes and another world overtakes him where the kidnappers have come to take him.

"Gana! Gana! Help! They've come back!" Merlin freaks out and his magic goes crazy. Morgana comes running.

"Merlin! Merlin, honey! What is it?" Merlin looks around in a panic. "Merlin! Look at me! What is happening? Come back to me, Merlin! What is it?"

"One of the traders. They came back. They were coming to hurt me again. They were going to torture me again." Merlin's magic dies down so that he has it under control, but he is still clearly not well. "I can't go back, Gana. They will take me to Arthur. I want to see him, but I don't want him to be the one to kill me. Don't let them hurt me." Morgana holds Merlin, not wanting to let her trembling friend go.

"Hush, Merlin. It is okay. There is no one there. You are safe. I promise." They begin walking back. Morgana hates thinking that only two months ago she wished that Merlin would go through this torture. She only wants him well, he wouldn't hurt a fly before Morgana. Only after she posed a danger did he ever threaten to kill.

"I love you, Morgana. And I know that this is not how I expected to ask you, but will you court me? I realize that this whole time I was just prolonging my feelings for you. I missed you so much and I never want to have to go through with that again. I love you so much, Morgana."

"I do, too, Merlin." With that, they kiss. Morgana runs her slender fingers through Merlin's unkempt, raven hair and Merlin hears something in the back of his mind that shocks him.

In Freya's voice he hears, "Thank you, Merlin. I can rest, now, knowing that you will be able to live, but that you will always love me, also." Then, the couple separates. Once they get to the house, both go to their respective rooms. No nightmares plague Merlin's mind, a pleasantry that he hadn't had since before he arrived in Camelot. The only difference was that they were getting worse.

Arthur POV: 3rd Person

_Merlin, I promise that when I get you, I will keep you safe. Gaius told me how powerful you were. He told me to be careful. Merlin could be… unpredictable, _Arthur thinks.

The knights passed Ealdor. Arthur went to find Hunith, but she wasn't there, which was odd. Unless, Morgana took her too, so that Merlin would stay with her. None can imagine Merlin willingly staying with Morgana. Merlin wouldn't work for her. At least, not under his own free will.

_Merlin, please, don't be working for Morgana. I couldn't bring you back. I can't lose you,_ Arthur thinks.

"Arthur! Arthur! We found the hut! It is over here! Arthur, hurry!" Mordred yells. Arthur leaves his horse and runs to Mordred. He hit a field and it is like running into a stone wall. Luckily, he is not injured.

"What the hell is that?"

"It won't allow anyone who isn't welcome in. Only if you have magic or are invited by Morgana can you get in." Mordred sighs.

"How do you know?" Arthur asks, trying not to be irritated.

"You trust me, do you not?"

"I trust you with my life."

"You know I am loyal to you," Arthur nods, carefully. "Arthur, I have magic." _Another one of my friends. I can't stand this,_ Arthur thinks. "I promise you Arthur, I mean no harm to you or Camelot. And definitely not to Emrys." Mordred clasps a hand over his mouth.

"Who is Emrys? What are you talking about?"

Mordred lets out a shaky breath, "It isn't my secret to tell. I promise you, Arthur, I will always be loyal to you, as will Emrys. And though you don't know who he is, you definitely know him and he knows you. He would never hurt Camelot."

Arthur closes his eyes, "Okay, I trust you. Don't give me a reason not to."

"Thank you, sire."

"We should wait. We can't go in while Morgana is here. It would be too risky."

"Sire, Merlin will be fine. I know it. I have seen his magic before. He is quick to act with it and discrete. I promise you, Arthur, if Merlin was in danger, he would find a way out."

"And what if he can't? What if," Arthur begins screaming at Mordred, "What if she found a way to take his magic? To suppress it? If Merlin dies, it will be all be my fault! I can't lose him! He is my friend! I don't care if he is only a servant! I want him to be safe and happy and away from Morgana!"

Gwaine somehow snuck up behind the two, "What if he is happy? Would you want to take that from him? Or worse, Arthur, what if he is afraid of _you_? You have no idea what is going through his head."

"Neither do you! I want Merlin back where he belongs!"

"Well, so do I! But I want him to be happy!"

"I know what he is thinking," _great_, Arthur thinks, _now I can scream at Lancelot, too_.

"Well, I guess since you're his best friend, you can tell us!" Arthur yells. Leon and Percival decide to stay away, not wanting to upset their king further.

"Merlin is probably thinking that he is a worthless monster, like he always did! Not that any of you would notice! He would hide behind a mask of sarcasm and clumsiness, but you have no idea of the secrets he held inside! You all told him almost everything, and he tried to help you, all of you! He would help anyone and everyone he could! Yet, he knew that if he was caught saving Arthur or using his magic at all, he would be killed! He did it anyway! To protect his friends! Now, he might not even think we want to set eyes on him again! He probably thinks that we all hate him! He always thought he was worthless, and a monster! Always afraid of himself! He was almost used to being this powerful! Merlin has sacrificed everything for us, especially Arthur! He was ready to die for each and every one of us! I know that you all saw him sacrifice himself to the Dorocha! But, did you know why he wouldn't leave? It wasn't just him being stubborn! He was going to close the Veil to save Arthur!"

All the knights look at Lancelot in shock, but Arthur the most. "I-I didn't-"

"Of course, you didn't know!" Lancelot screams, "He was right! You are a complete, oblivious prat! You are his best friend! He has complete loyalty to you! If you went up there, and told Merlin that you were going to kill him, he would be trembling at the sight, but would let you do it! Or, he would ask that he do it himself. He would close his eyes, and start sobbing because he thought that you actually cared for him! Hoped that you would let him live, that you were friends. Then, he would let you run him through, and he would be happy to be out of your sight! Because he doesn't want you to suffer! He would rather die than have you be angry with him or see you suffer! And most of the time, he almost did!"

Gwaine starts to interrupt, "Come on, Lance, I think he's had enough."

"I'm not finished!" Gwaine backs off as Lance shoots Arthur a look like daggers, "You almost didn't come for him," Lancelot says with a low, deep voice, "You almost left him to die. I almost asked Gwaine to come and help me look. Because it looks like only him, Mordred, and me care enough about Merlin. If I find out that you cause Merlin anymore pain, I swear Arthur, I will kill you." With that, Lancelot storms off. Arthur almost goes after him.

Mordred lays a hand on the king's shoulder, "Sire, let him go. He needs time."

"I'll go talk to him," Gwaine says, and follows in Lancelot's direction.

Then the sorcerer and king are left alone. Arthur has to ask, "Mordred, what was it like, living in Camelot, knowing you could die?"

Anyone could tell that Mordred was uncomfortable, "It was frightening. You didn't know whether or not you would live to see the next sunrise. I almost didn't. I wouldn't wish the fate on anyone. I already lost my first love to your father. I knew that I would never let another innocent druid die if I could help it."

"I'm sorry. What was her name?"

"Kara." Arthur is almost sure he sees a tear slip down young Mordred's face, "Listen, Arthur. We need to hide. Morgana could come out at any given moment." With that, the two go to Leon and Percival, listening for when Gwaine and Lancelot would come back.

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**Okay, so, I am very sorry that this took so long. I had a very bad case of writer's block. Thank goodness it didn't last as long as it normally does. Okay, so I will try to upload another chapter before the end of the week, but no promises. Please review! I really need the encouragement, but with all the followers I am pretty happy. But please take the extra three minutes to write a review, they literally make my day! So, who liked the Lancelot rant? I think that was the most fun thing to write in the whole chapter! Well, I'm am not sure where I am taking the Merlin/Morgana romance, yet. I should kill off Morgana for taking my boyfriend! Lol, I'm kidding. But, seriously, please review! I promise that almost any question (other than spoilers) will be answered by PM. I will try to talk to some in PM. Sorry, guests, I will try to give you a shout out in the next chapter because I can't message you guys! People who review will get a thank you either by PM or in an A/N at the beginning of the chapter after the one you reviewed! See you all next chapter!**

**My new quote: "For the love of Camelot!" Also, the one I put in the last chapter was by Morgana to Arthur in season 1 episode 4. Congratulations to you all who knew that. But I was a little disappointed to see that no one posted a guess. Well, I guess that's it. Bye!**

**~Lunatris262~**


	4. Chapter 4

Arthur POV: 1st Person

I see Morgana walk out of the hut. She is actually smiling. She goes off in the other direction. _Thank the gods, now I only have to get in and out, with Merlin_, Arthur thinks.

Mordred and I go near the barrier. "Can you get me through?"

"You will have to hurry through. Merlin could probably get you out, but, getting you in is hard." I nod. This is going to be hard. I have the letter in my pocket, _Merlin, please don't be difficult_. "On, three, Arthur. One, two, three!" Mordred says something quickly and I run through the barrier. Lancelot is still angry, but at least he is starting to cool off. Gwaine explained to him that He might help Merlin cope. Lancelot was happy that we were going to try to help Merlin.

I open the door and close it. I hear someone rummaging upstairs and then a door close, quietly. I hear low whimpering, some whispering about how everything is going to be alright. It has to be Merlin, and with the smirk that was on Morgana's face, I don't want to know what Merlin has been going through.

I creep up the stairs, trying my best not to frighten Merlin. My heart pounds with each step I take. I open a door and it is a tidy room, other than the bed being unmade and a book on the floor. I hear the whimpering get a little louder, and then a trap door opens. A fireball whizzes past me, but luckily misses.

Merlin slowly comes out, but then all you hear are his screams, "No! Arthur! Please! Don't kill me. I don't want to die." Merlin scrambles onto the bed. Good thing I left my sword outside. He starts sobbing, again. I try to take a step forward, but then he starts pleading with me, "Arthur, please. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to lie. I didn't want to put you in the position between Camelot and me. I'm not worth it. Keep me in the dungeons. I don't care. I don't want you to suffer. I want to be your friend."

"What are you talking about, Merlin?"

"You didn't come! I know why, too! I am a monster. A demon and a freak. I don't deserve mercy. I was left with the traders for a month! I don't deserve mercy! I am a monster! Please, Arthur, if you are going to kill me at least do it quick! No fire! I just want you to be happy! Please, Arthur! I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Arthur! Just let me die knowing you forgive me. I want you to know that I was trying to protect you." He presses his back against the wall behind the headboard of him bed. Sad, fearful eyes look up at me, and I never wanted Merlin to look at me that way.

"Merlin, please calm down. I am not going to hurt you. I won't let anyone hurt you again."

Merlin looks around frantically, "They're here. On the ceiling and climbing the windows. Everywhere."

I realize that Merlin is only half here, and half in a panic attack. I need to get him out of it, "Merlin, who is here? Come on, you can tell me."

"Traders. Knights, setting up fire. Roaches and spiders in cell, rotten food. Have to get out. Can't leave. Wait for Arthur. Arthur's coming." Then Merlin looks straight up at me with gray eyes that are in so much pain, "Is Arthur coming? He is going to kill me. He hates magic. But, I don't care. I'll be out of here, and Arthur can do whatever he wants, I will die. Not the pyre. I can't die by fire." But, then he seems to snap out of the illusion.

"Merlin, hush. You are safe now."

"Arthur. No," he whispers, "Not yet. I can't die. Please don't kill me, Arthur. Gana! Gana! Help!" Sobs rack his too thin body. "Please, Arthur! Gana! Help!"

"Merlin, I am not going to hurt you. I just want to talk. Please." Merlin looks at me, but he can't stop the small, frightened whimpers that escape his lips. His lip quivers and his body trembles with clenched hands. "Please." I crouch down in front of the bed. Merlin nods in consent. "Do you trust me?" He nods. "Will you just answer a few questions?"

At first, Merlin looks at me suspiciously, "Yes."

"Hear me out. Please." Merlin nods, "You are my friend. You should know that I would never hurt you. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was scared. I didn't want to risk losing you or putting you in a position between Camelot and me."

"Merlin, I wouldn't hurt you purposely. Why are you scared of me?"

"It's not you, exactly. It's the visions. You executing me, banishing me, and they get worse. Sometimes I just freak out and it's not fair to you or anyone else around me."

"Will you come back to Camelot?"

"I don't know." You have to be kidding.

"Why the hell not? It would have to be better than staying with Morgana!" Merlin's eyes widen slightly and he begins sobbing.

"You could never understand."

"Let me try. Scream at me. I don't care. I want to understand."

"I have sacrificed everything for you. My friend. My family. Even the love of my life! Not that you would know, or even care! You were the cause of their deaths! I threw my pride out the window for you! And what did I get? Goblets thrown at my head and insults flying at me ever since I met you! And why? Because I was five minutes late to wake you up. Or I was so exhausted from running around doing your chores that I would fall asleep while mucking out the stables and could barely hold a sword because I was ready to collapse! Then, to top it all off, when I thought I could finally sleep, I would have to save your arse. Or be poisoned. Or go on another hunting trip." I stare at him wide-eyed. He is furious. "While all of this is going on, I have to help Gaius, try to make sure my mother isn't kidnapped, and keep my sanity! Well, I guess I failed at that last one, because I am a complete nut-job! I am a monster! No one can change that! Any other questions, _Sire_?"

"Only one. Who is Emrys?"

"Who told you?" Merlin looks at me, a mix of emotions on his pale face.

"That doesn't matter."

"It is what the Druids call me. A prophecy was made. That Emrys and the Once and Future King would unite Albion. I always believed in you, was always loyal. But, now, I don't know. I would definitely do anything for you. I don't want to hurt you. But, if I am to die, I am sorry that I hurt you. I am sorry that I wasn't a good friend. And most of all, I am sorry that I was such a clumsy nuisance that lied to you time and time again.

"You said that going back to Camelot would be better than staying with Morgana. Arthur, we have both been alone for a long time. She rescued me when I was at my lowest. Arthur, I love her. She is different." But then, something flickers in Merlin's eyes. He suddenly curls up into a ball, whimpering. I walk toward him, but am soon thrown backwards by some unknown force.

"Get away from him," Morgana screeches as she runs to Merlin, who is whispering something to himself. She sits on the bed and cradles Merlin close to her. At first, he flinches and Morgana starts trying to console him, "Hush, Merlin. You are safe. It's Gana. It's Morgana." She rocks Merlin back and forth, "You are safe," she coos. Merlin eventually stops his whimpering and whispering, but not the shaking. "Why are _you_ here?"

"I thought you were going to hurt him." I stare in disbelief. Morgana looks at Merlin with such love and kindness.

"Well, I won't. I've changed. I don't want your death, nor the crown. What I do want is for you to control your knights. They all almost killed me. Luckily, I made it to the shield. But, that didn't stop young Mordred. I told him to stay outside the door of this room. Mordred is loyal to you, don't mess it up like you did with Merlin."

"I would never hurt him."

"Yes. Anyone can see that with the way he begs for you not to kill him in his sleep," Morgana says sarcastically.

"He seriously thinks I am going to kill him?"

"Yes, Arthur! I am surprised I didn't hear him shrieking when you came up here. I honestly thought he would have jumped out the window. He wanted to come back to Camelot, but was terrified at what you or the knights would do to him." Merlin is now sleeping in Morgana's lap, luckily, it doesn't seem that any nightmares are haunting him. Morgana talks more quietly, "Let's go downstairs, I don't want to startle him. It has been forever since he has had a peaceful sleep." Morgana plants a kiss on Merlin's forehead and gently lays his scrawny body on the bed.

"How do I know you aren't going to kill me or something?"

"I wouldn't do that to you or Merlin. I've changed Arthur, and I want to help. I want to be able to return to Camelot. Can we please talk about this downstairs?"

"Fine, but this is for Merlin." As we walk out of Merlin's chambers, I pass Mordred.

"I can't leave him alone. Which of them does Merlin trust most?"

"I think Lancelot. But, have Mordred go, too, in case Merlin needs the help of magic."

"I thought I told Lancelot to kill himself."

"Somehow, Merlin managed to heal him."

Morgana sighs, "Go get him. Don't let anyone else in, unless you know they won't cause a problem."

"Just let them in. They'll each take a turn watching him." I want Merlin protected just as much as the next person.

"If they harm him-"

"Believe me, I'll let you deal with it." Morgana smirks. I walk over to the door. "Come in, but quiet." My tone comes out as threatening, not how I would normally want to sound. "Okay, Merlin is asleep. Gwaine, you were right. He freaks out a lot. Mordred stays in there the whole time. Only two of you are in there with Merlin and Mordred. Lance and Gwaine, you are first. One of you have to do a double shift. Because Merlin you guys are always there for him, I need you guys to be careful. He sometimes doesn't know what he's doing. Come and get Morgana and me if he starts panicking or anything. Even if he only wakes up, just tell us," I turn to Morgana, "Anything else to add?"

"Don't crowd around him. If anyone is going to try any calm him, be careful," for the first time since the men came in, Morgana looks at them, "Merlin doesn't know what he is doing. Anything can trigger something. I will open the door and close it too loudly, and Merlin will panic. Sometimes, if you go to put a hand on his shoulder, hug him, or just even offer your hand, he panics. He expects a hit. Believe me when I say this, I care about Merlin, and there are only a few people he trusts. I don't deserve it, but he trusts me. I don't want to lose that." Morgana's voice cracks, and tears stream down her face. "Please, if you were ever my friend, don't make him hate me. He made me a better person, and I am trying to be good. I care about him, and about you. Some of you, I may not have met, but I know you have to be a good person for Arthur to knight you. Now, go check on Merlin. Please, I don't like leaving him alone for long."

The knights turn to go, but before Lance dashes up the stairs, he looks at me, "I'm sorry about before."

"I deserved it. Now, go check on Merlin, I know you've been dying to see him." I turn my attention to Morgana, "Now, let's talk everything out right now."

"I mean, I guess there isn't much for me to say. I love Merlin. I am sorry for everything I have done, I regret it, truly. I don't want the crown, I don't want your blood, I want to go home and to be with Merlin."

I would completely believe her, but I feel like I need Merlin to back me up, "Why the sudden change of heart? Since when did Merlin and you love each other?"

"I hated the empty feeling inside of me. It used to be just rage, but then it subsided into nothing. It was only pain. But, then Merlin came, and I was overwhelmed with emotions. At first, it was pride, I had always wished for Merlin to learn his lesson; to stop meddling with other people plans. Soon, I was devastated because he was the only person that would ever be able to forgive me. He was so scared of me. It took me hours to convince him that it was safe. I never wanted to make anyone suffer again. Then, one day, only about two days ago, Merlin told me he loved me. I was overjoyed. I guess that's it." It was completely real.

"What happened to Hunith?"

"What are you talking about? She was here two days ago, Merlin brought her back to Ealdor the same night." Worry is written all over Morgana's face. There is no way she could have done this.

"I went to her yesterday, to ask if she had seen Merlin. Hunith isn't in Ealdor."

"Merlin can't find out. He will think it is all of his fault. Please, Arthur." An ear-piercing scream erupts from upstairs. Leon comes down the steps so quickly he almost falls.

"Merlin is panicking. No one can calm him down. He has Mordred pinned up against a wall. I haven't seen him like this. Come quickly, Percy can't even get Merlin to let go." Morgana darts after Leon and I am right behind her.

"Where is my mother?" Merlin yells in Mordred's face, "What did you do to her?"

Mordred seems to let out a sigh of relief as Morgana and I enter the room. "Merlin, come on, let Mordred go, honey." Morgana's voice is like silk. It is smooth, calm, and tries to be comforting. "Merlin, it is okay. Mordred hasn't hurt your mother. Hunith is on a trip," Morgana glares at me and I nod in silence. "Please, Merlin, it's Morgana. Let go of Mordred. I promise, he hasn't hurt your mother. He never wants to hurt your mother. Let him go," Morgana walks over to Merlin and gently rests a hand on Merlin's shoulder. "Please, Merlin. Just let go of Mordred. Everything will be okay. Take this, Merlin," Morgana pulls out a vial of clear liquid. "Take this, you need it, Merlin. Please, do it for me." Morgana puts the vial to Merlin's lips, making sure he swallowed. Merlin's eyes close and he falls back, into Morgana.

"What did you do to him?" Mordred asks Morgana, with a note of fear in his voice.

"This is the first time I have ever drugged him. I swear. I had to. I couldn't let him hurt you. Let me stay with him. I will explain everything to him later. Mordred, I need your help. I need you to help me conjure a house for you and the knights to stay in. Well, I do have two extra rooms. Maybe we could conjure three beds. One in each room, plus one in Merlin's. One of us should stay with him."

"Anything to help," Mordred says curtly.

"Mordred, I am so sorry,"

"It's fine, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't even Merlin's. I was nearest. He must've been having a delusion. It could've been any one of us. I'm honestly happy it was me. I didn't want him to hurt anyone."

The two of them create the furniture, then I walk up to Morgana and whisper, "How did he know?"

"I need you all to come here!" The men line up in front of Morgana, "Listen, Merlin's mother is missing. I think he might know about it. If he wakes up and starts freaking out, just tell him that his mother is on a trip. That's it, don't mention any places or when she will be back. Merlin will blame himself if he knows." Morgana begins walking to the room, "I heard him. Sometimes he will say things in his mind. Mordred knows. And Mordred, I figured out Merlin's secret. You know the one. I couldn't care less and I promise that I won't hurt him." With that, Morgana goes up the stairs to take care of Merlin, and I trust that she won't hurt him ever again.

* * *

**Okay, I realize that this was really, really long. So, I guess it was worth the wait. Sorry, I had a plot bunny attack me and I had to write a oneshot to satisfy the rabid rodent. Well, please review! They really make my day, and I am pretty sure that if you had enough time to read my fanfiction, you can take the extra two minutes to review. I hope... But if you don't, I will send a dark!Merlin, Kilgharrah, or a wyvern after you. Thanks! But seriously, ****please review****!**

**Now for the quote, "It's lonely, to be more powerful than any man you know and have to live like a shadow... to be special... and have to live like a fool." -Merlin. I'll see you next chapter!**

**XOXO,**

**~Lunatris262~**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi, I'm back! Sorry for the wait! Thank you to VikingSong for the review. Now- the awaited Chapter 5:**

* * *

Morgana went to sleep and Lancelot decided that he would be the one to stay with Merlin. Next is Percival. How would Percy keep Merlin at bay? He's strong and kind, but would that be enough? Lancelot strokes his friend's hair. "I thought you were going to be dead. I was so relieved, and then I saw you freak out. Merlin, I am so sorry. I should have tried to find you sooner."

"It's fine, Lance. Not 'oo ba'." But then Merlin begins shaking. Lancelot wasn't expecting an answer. He runs to Morgana's room, and bangs on the door for less than three seconds.

"Is he awake?" Morgana whispers when Lancelot comes to her door.

"Yes, and something is happening. I think he is having another panic attack."

Morgana runs to Merlin's room and he is trembling on the bed, but sitting. "Blood," He stares at his hands repeating, "So much blood. I'm sorry," even after Morgana sits next to him.

"Merlin, nothing is there." Morgana realizes that he will not stop until the vision subsides. He isn't going to hurt anyone. Morgana has dealt with this vision before. She looks at Lancelot, "It's better this way. I've dealt with this hallucination before. He doesn't want to hurt anyone. He stops after about half and hour."

"That's cruel! You really don't know how to fix it?"

"If I did, I would. Only the most powerful warlock can do that. You know what, why don't you ask him, he is right here." Morgana looks at the cowering Merlin, who has his head on her shoulder. "I'll try to stop him, again. Merlin, sweetie, there is no blood. You are safe."

"So much blood. Freya. Come on, don't leave me." He seems to wake up quickly, "Morgana, what are you doing in here?" He shakes his head back and forth. "Lance, no offense, but what are you doing here?"

"You had a panic attack, Merlin. All the knights are here. So, is Arthur," Lancelot begins. "Merlin, I am so sorry we didn't find you earlier."

Merlin's face contorts with fear, "Did I talk to Arthur?" Lancelot nods, "No. I don't remember what I said. Arthur is going to kill me."

Morgana starts talking, "No, Merlin. I talked to him, he understands. If you give me a minute, I can use a memory spell. Is that okay, Merlin?" Merlin nods, "Cofiwch." Morgana's eyes glow a golden hue and Merlin's pupils dilate, but then turn back to normal. "You remember?"

Merlin nods, "Oh Gods, Mordred must hate me. Arthur too. How am I going to get out of this one?"

"Merlin, they don't hate you."

"I just told Arthur that I had nightmares about him killing me! I threw a ball of fire at him. Oh gods! I almost killed them."

"They don't hate you."

"Morgana, come on, I'm not stupid. I know Arthur. I used magic against him, he can't trust me. I threw him against the wall!"

Morgana sighs, "That was actually me," Merlin clenches his fists, but Morgana continues, "I thought he was going to hurt you. The knights already tried to attack me. I didn't want them to hurt you. Someone told Arthur about Emrys. He knows."

"Yes, and so do you."

"You are going to be my downfall and my savior. In more ways than one."

Merlin has a sad and betrayed look in his eyes, "I'm fine. Just let me rest." Then, Merlin hastily adds, "Alone."

Both of the friends leave and close the door. Then, before Morgana goes into her room, Lancelot taps her shoulder, "Is he always this withdrawn?"

Morgana nods sadly, "Some days are worse than others. But, most of the time, yes, he wants to be left alone. Some days, he wouldn't even let me near him. Merlin would lock the door, and in case I managed to open it, he would put a shield around himself or hide. I still haven't found all of the places that Merlin had created."

"I feel terrible. If I had only been quicker, he might be fine."

"Lancelot, listen, we are just lucky he hadn't been there longer. They put a collar on him, where is sustained his magic. I don't know how Merlin survived, but he was in pain. It was torture and he was so scared. Anytime I went near him for a week, he thought that he was going to be hit. He wouldn't eat because he thought maggots and other insects were in the food. Merlin thought the food was poisoned."

"Merlin has been hurt more than once. I don't think he would do anything differently."

Both jump when they hear a quiet snore, "Hey, I think he is asleep. I don't want to leave him alone. Get Gwaine. I'm pretty sure that your shift was over about two hours ago."

"Um, yeah. I guess." Lancelot runs into the other room and wakes up a completely sober Gwaine. Morgana quickly goes into her room, still unable to read the knight, choosing to avoid him.

Gwaine goes into Merlin's room and sits down on the extra bed. Merlin opens both eyes, startling the knight. "Hey, mate, are you alright?"

"Oh, thank the gods it's you," Merlin starts and begins to sit up, "Listen, I need you to do me a favor."

"Anything. What is it?" Merlin sighs and looks at the ground, "Merlin, what's wrong?"

"I am just," Merlin runs a hand through his hair, "It's hard to explain. I need you to promise me a few things."

"Merlin, what is it?"

Merlin closes his eyes, "I need you to promise me that you will take care of Arthur and Morgana. Also, that if anything happens to me, you will remember me as I was before I was captured and will bury me in Lake Avalon."

"Merlin, what are you talking about?"

"Just promise me, please." Merlin looks into Gwaine's brown worry-filled eyes.

"Okay, Merlin. Now, will you tell me what's going on?"

"I am worried about my mother. She told me she would come to me if anything was wrong."

"Your mother is on a trip, Merlin." Gwaine feels a pang of guilt, but goes on with the plan.

"Oh, come on, Gwaine. I was expecting this from the others, but not you. I am not oblivious and it's not like I have the ability to sleep peacefully. I am scared, Gwaine, I can't tell anyone else that, but I think you can understand. I am afraid that I am going to hurt someone."

Gwaine sighs in relief that his friend isn't about to panic. "Listen, mate, I know that you wouldn't hurt anyone-"

"Well, what would have happened if Morgana didn't get to Mordred and me in time? I know, I could have killed him. I attacked Arthur."

"No one is hurt, and no one is mad."

"But, everyone is afraid. I don't want to be near people that are afraid of me. I wish Arthur never found out."

"Come on, you need to sleep."

"I don't want to dream."

Gwaine sighs, "I'll wake you up if you have nightmares, okay?" Merlin nods, and turns over, knowing what he will do. He hears a slight snore from the brown haired knight and decides that this is a good of time as ever. He carefully grabs his escape messenger bag full of supplies that he thought he would need, (magic book, paper, quill, ink, blanket, and an extra jacket.) Merlin looked at his sleeping friend and wished that there was another way to figure everything out.

Merlin silently creeps down the stairs and out the door. Before leaving the shield, Merlin whispers, "I'm sorry," and leaves for the Crystal Cave, hoping to find peace there.

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

IN THE MORNING-

"Gwaine? Gwaine? Wake up!" Arthur yells at the knight. Groggily, the sleepy man rubs his eyes. "Gwaine, where is Merlin?"

"No. No no no," Gwaine shakes his head. "I should have realized. I should have known."

"Gwaine, calm down, where is Merlin?"

"He left. Oh gods, I should have known. He made me promise him. No."

Arthur puts a hand on Gwaine's shoulder, "What did he make you promise?"

"To protect you and Morgana. And that if anything happened to him, to remember him as he was and to bury him at Lake Avalon. If I had any idea that he was going to run away, I would have told you."

Mordred walks through the door and starts talking, "I might be able to locate Merlin. But, it could be hard. He might not want to be found, and if I can locate him, he might realize it quickly."

"Remember what I told the traders. I hope they don't find him. I don't trust them, and Merlin could panic." Mordred nods and looks to Morgana who is clearly very angry at Arthur.

Morgana shoots Arthur a look, "What did you tell the traders?"

"That if they found Merlin, to bring him to Camelot safely."

Morgana sighs, "That's what I thought. There is no way Merlin is going to let them just take him back to Camelot. They were acting nice to him, and torturing him at the same time. It is going to trigger too much and Merlin isn't going to let them near him. The traders had a system. The nicer they were, the worse the torture."

"I am going to find Merlin. I promise," Mordred says, hoping that he can find Merlin before the traders.

* * *

**Okay, so I hope that you liked this chapter. I have been having a hard time so it probably isn't my best writing, but I hope I did okay. Please review, they make my day!**

**"You already saved me. You made me feel loved." -Freya to Merlin.**

**XOXO,**

**~Lunatris262~**


	6. Chapter 6

Mordred POV:

_Emrys, please, where are you?_ I project into Emrys's mind. I hear no response so I try again, _Morgana and King Arthur are worried about you. Gwaine is worried sick. Let me locate you._

_I don't want to be found!_

_Emrys, please, we want to help you._

_No one can help me. Take care of Arthur and Morgana._ Then I am shut out, and I feel like I was punched in the gut. I close my eyes and sigh. I turn to Arthur, "He shut me out."

"Why does he have to be so stubborn?"

"Arthur, he is scared. He would never admit it, but it's true. Sire, he is determined that you and Morgana are kept safe."

"Why does Merlin care so much about my safety, when he throws his out the window?" Arthur screams, trying not to be frustrated but failing.

"You have no clue, do you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"The prophecy about Emrys and the Once and Future King. Emrys and the King are to unite the land of Albion. Merlin knows that it will not come to pass if you are not alive, Arthur, for you are the Once and Future King. Merlin is Emrys, and he will protect you until his dying breath. But, he doesn't do it only because of the prophecy. Emrys does it because he is your friend and he is loyal. Whoever has Emrys's loyalty is the most powerful person in the world. But, now Emrys is unpredictable. He is worried and watching out for anything. He thinks that you are afraid of him and that you hate him. He still wants to protect you, but also thinks that he is going to hurt you."

"Merlin told me," Gwaine says, "He's afraid that he is going to hurt someone. I should have gotten the hint. I'm so _stupid_!"

_Gwaine, you aren't stupid_. Merlin projects into the room. Everyone can hear it. _I am practicing my magic. I can look into water and see what you are doing and saying. I don't want you to worry about me. Just take care of yourselves. Arthur, stay safe same to you Morgana. Wait for me, Gana. You are never alone. I'm sorry, I'm just a danger to all of you. Just like one once told me. One, I thought I could never live without, and I had to. I can't talk about her, I'm sorry. Some things are better as a secret, I'm so sorry. I am going to miss you guys, especially you, Dollophead. I guess this is it. Goodbye._

With that, Merlin just stops. "I'm going to try to reach him again," I say, trying not to lose hope.

"No, let him be. Clearly, he wants to be left alone."

Morgana starts, and she is really loud, "Arthur Pendagon! How dare you! I refuse to give up on Merlin! Now, anyone who wants to help Merlin will think of anything that might give away where he is going."

That was way shorter than Queen Guinevere's rants.

~A week later~

_Mordred. Mordred, please answer me._ I can almost hear the desperation in Merlin's voice. "Guys! It's Merlin!"

_What is it, Emrys?_

_C-can't breathe. Don't kn-now where I am. H-help. P-pl_ He doesn't finish the sentence. "Merlin is in trouble! He is panicking and doesn't know where he is."

_Emrys! Emrys! Wake up! Merlin! Please! What is happening?_ I can't get an answer. His thoughts are like static. _Merlin! Please! What is going on? Concentrate!_

It takes a while for Merlin to answer, and even when he does, the words are slurred and quiet, _C-caged. I-I'm an a-animal. Sorry. I-I'm so sorry._

_You have nothing to be sorry for. Merlin, you must concentrate, what are your surroundings?_ No one deserves this much pain.

_Blur. They are coming. Back away. Back. Stay away. Sorry._

_Merlin, it is fine. Just, try to stay safe. _I am not getting anywhere. "Okay, Merlin is in trouble. I don't have much information to go on. I think the traders took him. It's bad. He thinks he is an animal. Well, not literally, but he believes that he is a monster. They must not realize that Merlin is using magic or else they would have put the collar back on him. They possibly already have."

"No. Merlin was so weak after the restraints were put on him," Morgana sobs, "I should have gone after him! I am going to find him and those worthless, little-" Then she continues to say an abundance offensive words, leaving the other knights speechless. I try to stifle a laugh, but fail miserably, as does Arthur.

"I might be able to have a location on Merlin, but I need Morgana's help. Morgana, I realize that you are very upset, but, I can't do it alone. The only person who could is Merlin, and sadly, that is who we are looking for."

Morgana nods and we say the words together, "Voi̱thí̱ste mas na entopísete Merlin," a golden light appears in front of us.

Merlin POV:

Stay back. Stay away. I'm a monster. I'm a monster and there is nothing that anyone can do about it. A monster caged like an animal. No escape. Mordred will tell Arthur, right? They will come. Please don't hate me. Mordred is good, he won't hurt me. Arthur will. Arthur hates magic, so he must hate me.

This is worse than before. My magic is wasting away, as is my life. It didn't happen as quickly last time. My friends will not make it here in time. I should have let them come. I should have told them where I was going. I need to get to the Crystal Cave. I can't die, now. I need to protect Arthur.

"Oh, look, it's the king's servant. It's not fair. The boy has magic. Come on, boy, give us a little show!" I back away slowly. One of the men come into the cage and walk toward me. He strokes my cheek in a way that Morgana or Hunith would. I try to jerk away from him, but I can't struggle. Then he slaps my face. "Aw, that probably hurt. What about this, serving boy?" The man continues to punch me in the face and stomach. Then he kicks me in the side and I hear a sickening crunch. Then, I try to shield my broken rib, but I am unable to do so, and my master kicks me again. Another crack, another agonizing scream. "We'll leave you alone, boy. It's not like your king is coming." Then the men gawfaw, and walk back to their warm fire. If only I could scare them a little by making it move.

Blood runs from my nose. The rest of the time, whenever the come into the cage, they will stroke my arm, face, neck, or sometimes even my back –that is, if they can get to it without me slamming their fingers in the cage- then, they beat me. I can't even protect myself anymore.

Who am I kidding? Arthur and the rest of them aren't coming. It's been two weeks since I sent the message to Mordred, and three since I have been captured. They aren't going to find me. Another man comes into the cage, stroking my cheek and neck again. "I'm sorry that your king isn't coming. He doesn't deserve your loyalty." I close my eyes. _Don't resist. The beating will be over quicker that way._ "You know that he will only kill you. You should consider yourself lucky. We saved you from certain death." The man is now running his fingers up and down my back, sending chills up my spine. I let out a shaky breath. "Well, aren't you going to say 'thank you'?"

I will never do that. These men can beat me all they like, I will never thank them. "Never," I say in a feeble attempt to continue fighting. I didn't think that this was the last time I ever would talk back to these people. Then, he starts to beat me.

He takes a knife and begins carving my arm. He lifts off my shirt. I close my eyes so he can't see the fear in them and I can't see the joy in his. The man carves into my chest. I don't know what exactly he is writing, and I can't help but flinch everytime the cool blade touches my skin. Then, he does something that I didn't expect, he took a hot poker and branded my right arm with the letter 'W'. "It stands for worthless. You have no value! You are just a worthless sorcerer that is going to be sold! YOu are completely weak and useless! If you had any type of value, your king would have came for you by now. You are a worthless imbicile that can't learn to keep his mouth shut! You have no right to even live." I can't stop the tears that fall down my face. But, after the man leaves, I realize that he is right.

I am a monster. I shouldn't have ever been born. I am a discusting person that should be wiped off the face of the Earth. I sit up and see what the man cut into my skin. He wrote, "Slave and worthless," on my arm. On my chest, only slashes were made, but, also over my heart, was a 'W'. No one ever thought I would snap, but only one word stuck in my mind _worthless_. That one, two-syllable word, is the one that broke me.

* * *

**So, this was a little more angst than I anticipated. I am sorry for the wait. So, please review! Pretty please with cherries and magic on top? Really, they do make my day! Well, I guess I'll see you next chapter.**

**Quote: "You will remember me," -Kilgharrah to Merlin.**

**XOXO,**

**~Lunatis262~**


	7. Chapter 7

3rd Person:

It took all of the knights to hold Gwaine back. They saw the traders, but more importantly, Merlin slumped over in the corner of a cage. Morgana tries to hold back sobs that threaten to blow their cover. She couldn't believe that even with magic it took a month to find her love. Then, they watch as a man goes up to Merlin and brushes his fingers against Merlin's cheek for a few moments. Morgana shakes her head with a hand over her mouth. "No. No," she repeats.

"Morgana, what is it?"

"Listen," and all of the knights turn their attention to Merlin and the trader.

"Poor boy. I think you are a good person," he continues to stroke Merlin's cheek, neck, and back. "I'm sorry that your king will never come." The knights have to hold Arthur back, before he blows their cover. "He doesn't deserve your loyalty," the man's voice is overly sweet, "Who is that girl you call for during the night? Freya, I think it is. Arthur and your mother. You also called the Lady Morgana. I am so sorry that they all failed you. But, we have saved you from certain death. Shouldn't you say thank you?"

Merlin just sits there, staring into one corner of the cage. Then, the man starts to kick Merlin and slap him. He takes a dagger and begins carving into Merlin's skin. "You are a worthless excuse for a life. You are useless and stupid! You deserve to die! You should be thankful that we are selling you! You are a freak and a monster. You are an animal and an evil sorcerer! You are discusting and despicable." With one last carve, the man throws the knife out of the cage, grabbing a metal rod. He takes it and begins smashing Merlin's left arm, shattering the entire bone. Merlin lets out an agonizing, ear-piercing scream and Morgana cringes. The man laughs and leaves the cage for a moment, but then comes back with a hot poker, deciding to sear Merlin's arm. "The 'e' stands for evil and the 'm' for monster." Merlin slumped over again, shaking. The collar was still on him, and Merlin was incredibly weak. He knows that he won't last much longer.

Then, the knights attack. All of the traders run except for about five of them, two being sorcerers. Morgana and Arthur focus on trying to get Merlin out of the cage, which Morgana has to blast open. Then they try to get Merlin to come out, but realize that he has no idea what is going on. Morgana sees that Merlin's magic is bubbling to the surface, and tells everyone to duck. Almost all of the knights and Morgana hit the ground as she breaks the collar. Merlin's magic, unable to be controlled, destroys everything in its way. Including all of the bandits, and nearly Lancelot. Lancelot was far enough away to only get a few cuts and bruises, but nothing too serious.

After Merlin's magic was released he fell into a deep sleep. Percival picks the warlock up bridal style and carries him as Morgana transports them to her hut. Lancelot limps up to his room with the help of Gwaine and Arthur. Mordred tries to help Morgana calm down because she can still see Merlin being tortured. Morgana's breathing is ragged and quick. Arthur is shocked at all his manservant went through. None of them realize that Merlin is broken and left in darkness. He doesn't believe in hope anymore, so doesn't want to do anything.

"Leon," Arthur says, immediately getting the knights attention, "Go to Camelot, and tell Guinevere and Gaius that everything is okay. Tell her that everyone will be back in about a week." Leon nods.

"Of course, sire." Sir Leon stands up and leaves, readying his horse. Lancelot also goes with him, saying that he doesn't want Merlin to see that he is hurt. The knights go off to Camelot, knowing that the queen will ask questions.

Morgana was able to heal Merlin's shattered arm, and stitch together his arms and chest. But, not the scars inside of his mind. Nothing could do that. Merlin began to stir. But when he woke up, he didn't make any acknowlegement that he knew of his surroundings. Morgana had to leave because she was too upset to see Merlin's blank, almost dead look. Merlin opens his lips to say something, but all that comes out is a small whisper, only heard by Arthur, "Worthless." Arthur tries to hold back his tears in seeing his best friend broken. His memories come flooding back, of their banter and adventures. But, then Arthur sees all of the insults that he said to Merlin.

Then, Arthur remembers what his father had drilled into him since he was a boy, "No man is worth your tears," and he realizes how wrong that was.

"Can I have a moment alone with Merlin?" The three knights that were in the room leave Arthur. "Listen, Merlin, I need you. I need you to snap out of this. I promise, you are safe. Please, just wake up. Listen, Merlin, you are my best friend and I can't bear to lose you. Wake up!"

"Art'ur?" Merlin whispers. Arthur wouldn't have heard it if he wasn't listening.

"Hey, Merlin. How are you feeling?"

"Don' ask."

"We can talk later, Merlin. Just rest." Arthur gently lays a hand on Merlin's shoulder, causing him to jump with wide eyes. Merlin scrambles away in fear.

"Please. Don't hurt me. I'm sorry." Merlin trembles looking at Arthur, a frightened look on his face. But, then his face relaxes. "I didn't mean to... I don't know what happened."

"Merlin, it's okay. It's fine. I saw what they did, and I don't want you to ever feel like that again." Merlin looks at Arthur, trying not to show emotion, holding it all in. Just like he always had to. But, now Arthur sees through the mask and the pain behind Merlin's eyes. "Merlin, don't you dare try to hide the fact that you are upset. I promise, I will help you get through this."

"Don't make a promise you can't keep, Arthur. I can't do this." Merlin still forces himself to breathe evenly and calmly.

"Merlin, all those jokes, about you being a coward. I hope you know that I never meant them. I always thought you were the bravest man I ever knew. I still believe that." Merlin looks up at Arthur, half afraid, half glad. "Rest, Merlin, you really need it."

Merlin leans back on the bed. He closes his eyes and clutches the blanket around himself. Arthur gets up to leave, but Merlin grabs his wrist, "Stay, please." Arthur nods and Merlin closes his eyes. At first, Merlin's breathing is slow, but uneven. Eventually, it becomes deep and consistant. Once, Arthur is sure that Merlin is going to be asleep for a while, he gets up.

"Gwaine, can you please stay with Merlin?"

"Of course." Gwaine knows that Merlin is not only Arthur's friend, but also his own best friend.

Arthur begins to walk away, but turns around, "Gwaine, be careful if you touch him."

Gwaine nods and goes into the room, sitting next to his friend. "Mate, things are going to get better. I promise." He runs his hand through Merlin's raven black hair. "I know you can get through this. Don't you dare think about giving up."

Arthur goes downstairs to talk to the weeping Morgana. She looks up at her brother, "Arthur, I am sorry. I should have taken better care of him. It's my fault." Morgana sobs into her hands. "I can't lose him, Arthur. Merlin was the first person to realize that I had some good left in me. I lost everything, I can't lose him, too."

Arthur rubs his sister's back, "Morgana, Merlin spoke to me."

"What did he say?" Morgana sniffles, and looks up at Arthur, trying to stay calm though she is happy at the sudden improvement.

"Well, not much. But, I can tell that he is scared and in pain." Arthur goes to continue, but just then, Hunith bursts through the door. She doesn't look happy.

* * *

**So, I am very sorry for the wait. I had a lot of writer's block and I thought the chapter was finished, but it was only 500 words. So, I had to keep writing. Well, I know that this isn't my best work, but please review. They really make my day!**

**Merlin quote: "I haven't seen you smile in the past three days." -Arthur to Merlin**

**XOXO,**

**~Lunatris262~**


	8. Chapter 8

3rd Person:

"What the hell happened to my son? I left for a two days, to go get herbs. I come to visit Merlin, and no one is here, everthing is abandoned! Where is my son and what happened?" Arthur and Morgana look at each other.

Then Morgana screams, "Coming!" and runs up the stairs. Arthur curses Morgana in his mind as he looks guiltily at Hunith.

"Hunith, I think you should go back to Ealdor, just for now," Arthur feels his stomach twist in knots.

"I will not. Now, Arthur, honey, please tell me what happened?"

Arthur lets out a sigh and finally looks Hunith in the eye, "Okay, Merlin thought you were in danger. He must have overheard the knights talking because we went to Ealdor to talk to you, and you weren't there. Merlin went to look for you are the slavetraders got him again. I don't know exactly what happened, but Merlin was tortured. I saw part of it, but I wasn't able to stop it without putting him in danger. Don't worry, the traders are gone, Merlin took care of that."

"Oh, my boy. How is he?" Hunith is afraid to look at Arthur.

"Merlin is scared. Of everything and everyone. He woke up and spoke a while ago, but it wasn't a lot." Hunith covers her mouth and her eyes go wide.

"Please, Arthur. Please tell me you are joking."

"I really, really wish I was. Hunith, listen, go back to Ealdor. We are going to bring Merlin back to Camelot in a few days. We will take care of him."

"Tell him I stopped by. Please." Arthur looks at Hunith and a thought goes off in his head.

"At least, maybe you should talk to him before you leave. Merlin has convinced himself that you are in danger. I guess it's my fault, because I thought you were hurt when I couldn't find you in Ealdor."

"Okay. I think I can manage talking to my own son." Hunith smiles for the first time since she walked through the door. Arthur brings Hunith up the stairs to Merlin's room, where the pale boy is actually awake and greedily drinking liquid from a cup Gwaine gave him.

"Gwaine, please tell me that is not ale or mead."

Gwaine smiles at Arthur, "Well..."

"Gwaine!"

"No, princess! I'm only joking!"

Hunith runs to her son, "Oh, my boy. Are you okay? I was so worried."

Merlin buries his face in his mother's shoulder, "I'm sorry. I thought you were in danger. It all my fault. I'm sorry." The boy sobs into his mother's shoulder and everything he says comes out muffled.

"Merlin, it's okay. You are safe, and that's all that matters. Somehow, you've miraculously brought together a brother and sister. Merlin, none of this is your fault. I am safe. Merlin, my wrist is even healed!" Merlin smiles at his mom and he looks truly happy.

"Mother, please, go home. People will begin to wonder what is happening. I don't want you to have to leave like I did." Hunith nods, "Promise me that you will stay safe. Believe me, I will find a way for you to communicate easily with me, and you will definitely know that it is me."

"I promise, Merlin."

Then, Merlin says some type of spell and Hunith looks at her son expectantly, "A protection spell... Just in case." Hunith lets of a chuckle.

Then Morgana offers to bring Hunith back to Ealdor, which is what they decide. Once they leave, Merlin relaxes his shoulders, "How did you find her?"

Arthur laughs, "Um, well, Hunith found us." Then, he becomes serious, "Merlin, tomorrow, we are going back to Camelot. I promise, no harm will come to you. I will change the law, and everything will be fine. Okay?" Merlin nods and he can feel the fatigue taking over. "Go to sleep, Merlin, you need it." This time, Merlin doesn't fight it.

Arthur can't help but smile at how innocent and –dare he say it, adorable- his manservant looks as he falls into a deep slumber. It looks like that spell took a lot out of him, because the warlock looks exhausted. Luckily, tomorrow everyone goes back to Camelot. Merlin is reunited with Gaius, Arthur with Gwen. And the whole of Albion. Everything won't be the same, but who knows, it could be better.

* * *

**Okay, well, I am sorry that this is ridiculously short and I updated sort of-ish late. Yeah... I couldn't concentrate at all. And, almost every time I have gone to sleep for the past two month, I kid you not, I have had dreams about Merlin and the other characters. I have almost been killed my Morgana at least 10 times, legit, in my dreams. It is really scary! Well, I think that we are nearing the end, so... Either the next chapter or maybe a few (1-5) will be the last. I will let you know. Please review! I love them! Please!**

**Quote: "Arthur, he doesn't just have magic... There are those who say he is the greatest sorcerer to ever walk the earth." -Gaius**

**XOXO,**

**~Lunatris262~**


	9. Chapter 9

Merlin POV:

I can't wait! I would have jumped out of the bed if I was strong enough. Actually, I was, but not with Gwaine and Arthur holding me down. We started to get the horses ready, and by we, I mean the knights got the horses ready while Morgana tried to reign in my excitement and her own nervousness. But, then, a realization hits me and I can feel my face pale, "Arthur," he turns to looks at me, and sees the fear plastered on my face, "Where is Leon and Lance?" I start shaking, "When I attacked the bandits, I didn't..." I can't even finish the sentence.

"No! Gods, Merlin, no. They went back to Camelot to inform Guinevere that we were returning as soon as you could travel." I let out a sigh of relief. Thank the gods. I thought I killed them. My trembling stops slowly. Morgana and I walk beside the horses. I hold her hand tightly, trying to reassure her that everything will be okay.

"Morgana," I whisper to her. I give her a cheeky grin, one that I would normally give Arthur, "I think you are going to make a fine princess." Morgana laughs at this, but not loudly. "Morgana, everything is going to be fine. I promise, then we can be together."

"Merlin, I trust you. But, we can't be together."

No. Come on. Anything but this. "Morgana, if Arthur and Gwen could be together, sure you and I-"

"Merlin, it's not that."

"Then, what the hell is it?" I yell, and all the knights attention is on us.

"Please, Merlin, don't cause a scene," she whispers. Anger bubbles up inside me, but I push it to the side and we all continue. I notice the knights looking back to check on me. I sigh, trying not to get frustrated, I know how they feel. I have been trying to protect Arthur for four years, and I think I have let him down. The way he looks at me, he wants to take care of me, we are like brothers. But, you can see the betrayal he still feels. I feel really, really tired right now. They would all want me to take a rest, but, I don't want to waste a second. I want to go home. To Camelot. I hear something in the trees. Apparently, the knights realize that I am suddenly more alert.

Bandits come running at us. I warily look around, we are definitely outnumbered. They go at everyone. I roar and feel my eyes burn gold as the bandits fly into trees and land in branches. I hear some of my friends shout in victory, but none of them realize that my world has gone black and my head collides with the ground.

3rd Person:

Merlin hits the ground, exhausted from everything that the world gave him. Morgana was the first to notice, then Arthur. "Merlin, wake up! Come on, Merlin!" Arthur shouts in Merlin's ear, while Morgana is sobbing and clutching Merlin's hand.

Merlin shows no sign of waking up and Arthur puts him on his horse. Arthur walks next to the horse, holding the reigns. _Don't you dare die on me, Merlin. I am not going to lose you again._

Merlin begins muttering in his sleep, "No. Don't do it! Stop!" Soon enough, the soft words become shouts, "Please! Don't! I won't try anything! Let me go! Please!" Then, the screams become terrified whimpers, "They'll come. Arthur will come." Arthur runs a hand through Merlin's raven-black hair. It seems that it keeps Merlin calm, so Arthur continues.

They are about two hours walk from Camelot. They all decide that now would be a good time for a break. Arthur gets Merlin off of his horse with the help of Gwaine. Merlin begins to stir and everyone lets out a relieved sigh. "What happened? I remember the bandits and using magic. Oh..."

"You exhausted yourself, Merlin," Mordred states, trying not to show any emotion.

"How long until we get to Camelot?" Merlin says, the excitement evident in his voice.

"About two hours," Morgana tells him. Morgana knows that the slightest betrayal could break Merlin, and tries to be as comforting as possible, anything could set him off. "Can you walk?" Merlin nods and gives a cheeky grin. Arthur looks at Merlin and everyone begins walking back to Camelot.

Merlin is practically running back to Camelot, with the help of his magic. The knights are all relieved that Merlin is partly back to normal. Most of them are convinced that Gwaine slipped Merlin some (or a lot) of alcohol. But, right about now, they didn't care because Merlin was happy. They all hoped that it would last.

"Come on! I want to get there before noon!" Arthur just laughs as he looks at his happy friend.

"Gwaine, are you sure you didn't get him drunk?"

"I didn't! I swear, this is all him." Gwaine laughs, but they are all wondering what made their friend so happy.

"It's a side effect," Mordred says quietly. "He is getting his magic back, and it causes a lot of energy. Because his energy is so positive, it makes him super happy. I guess because of the magic cuffs making him so weak, he is going to have to get used to the extra power."

"So, when is super happy Merlin going to wear off?" Morgana asks quietly.

"Well, that depends on events going around him. I guess you could say that Merlin could have many mood swings until he gets used to the powerful magic."

Merlin just smiles as he is able to see the castle. "Home." It isn't the same cheeky smile that he normally wears, it is a smile that says so much more. It says, "I made it." Behind it is hope, some type of sadness, and joy. Arthur sees this and gets off of his horse.

He goes to Merlin as the boy collapses into Arthur with happy tears. "Merlin, you're going to be okay. See, we are taking you home and you never have to suffer like that again. Merlin, it's going to be okay."

Merlin laughs, "I never thought I was going to make it back," he half sobs, half laughs into Arthur's shoulder. "You gave me something I have longed for my whole life, Arthur."

"And what's that?"

"Acception."

"Merlin, we are going to go to Camelot together, and we are going to lift the ban on magic." Merlin laughs through his tears.

The group continues to Camelot, and on the border, collecting herbs, is Gaius. Merlin spots him and sprints as fast as his legs will let him. "Gaius!" The old physician barely has enough time to look up before his ward wraps his arms around his mentor. "I missed you! I missed you so much!"

"Oh, my boy! Merlin! You're safe! I didn't know if you... It's been so long!" Merlin, still crying, buries his face in Gaius's shoulder.

Together, the group, plus Gaius, make it to the castle. Merlin goes to his room after embracing Gwen, saying that he is exhausted. Everyone nods and says that they will see Merlin in the morning. Merlin tries to get up the stairs, but finds himself stumbling a little. Lancelot grabs Merlin's arm, and to the knight's suprise, his friend flinches at the sudden touch. "Merlin, it's me, Lance. You're fine."

"Okay, I'm fine. I'm home," the warlock repeats to himself a few times to calm himself. "I guess I tired myself out with the excitement."

"I'll help you get to your room," Lancelot says, trying to help Merlin not kill himself before the hour was up.

"Ok, thanks." Merlin gets to his room and basically collapses on his bed. Lancelot leaves and Merlin turns on his side. "I'm back. I never have to leave." The warlock falls into a deep slumber as fatigue takes over him.

While Merlin sleeps, Arthur comes into the room to check on the boy whilst he sleeps. The manservant's quiet snores eases the king's stress. Arthur runs a hand through his friend's hair. But, Merlin begins to shout, "Don't! Stop please! Stop hurting me! No!" Drawers begin opening and closing while other items begin flying around the room.

"Merlin, it's Arthur. You're in Camelot. You are safe now. No one is going to hurt you. Merlin, wake up! Wake up, Merlin!" Merlin's eyes fly open and the chaos stops.

Merlin frantically looks around the room, but then his eyes settle on Arthur, "It was so bad. It was horrible."

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

Merlin nods slowly, still trembling. "They branded me as worthless. They burned a 'w' on my arm and above my heart. 'Worthless' they said. It won't leave me alone. I have to look at the scars everyday and the nightmares haunt me while I sleep. Arthur, I am really scared. I don't know what to do. I am going crazy."

"Merlin, you are by no means, worthless. Whatever they said, it was a lie. Those monsters, deserved what they got."

"That's what they called me. Monster, freak, sorcerer. Evil, animal, and useless. They never stopped. It wasn't the beatings that hurt, it was the words. It shouldn't have hurt, I shouldn't value their opinion, but, it was drilled into me for two months."

"Merlin, you know, everything I ever said, about you being incompetent and useless, I never meant it. I always thought of you as a little brother. You are like my best friend. You know, there are many other things that the 'w' could stand for. You know what it is? It's 'warlock'. I remember, you have had to hide. Now, you don't have to. You can be a warlock and proud of it. Now, get some rest, I will make sure that you will never have to suffer like that again. I promise." Merlin starts to drift off to sleep. Arthur can see the slight grin on his friend's face. _Thank the gods, he is finally peaceful._

Morgana walks around the castle, trying to ignore the stares of disbelief. That Morgana is now Princess Morgana Pendragon, and is actually in the castle, free to do whatever she likes. _Oh, you are making this far too easy, Emrys,_ she thinks.

* * *

**PLOT TWIST!**

**Well, I would like to start off with thanking the guest and Cathywren for reviewing. I really appreciate it. To the guest, well, I guess next chapter you will see what is happening with the Merlin/Morgana relationship... Well, I am really sorry for the wait. I was actually going to post this on Saturday, and then realized that it was only 500 words. I wasn't going to let that fly. SO, you wound up waiting 2 more days for a chapter 3 times longer. I guess it was worth the wait... PLEASE REVIEW!  I hope to see you next chapter! What do you think is going to happen?**

**Merlin Quote: "Merlin, no one else is going to say this to you, but I will. Well done." -Gaius**

**XOXO,**

**~Lunatris262~**


	10. Chapter 10

3rd Person:

Morgana smirks as she walks down the hallway in her blue and purple dress that was stuffed in her closet. She tells all of the guards that a prisoner from the dungeons had escaped. Following the protectors, she locks them all in cells. _This is going better than expected._

With a wave of her hand, everyone outside of the throne room are knocked out. She wanted her dear brother to watch as she ascended the throne. She glides into the meeting with ease as she watches all of the council and knights stop in conversation. "Oh, come on, Arthur. You made this all too easy. I mean, did you really think that I wouldn't get my revenge?" Morgana relishes in the frightened faces of the men, but the one that she finds the most enjoyable, is Merlin's. "Oh, Merlin. Did you really think you changed me? I bet you did. Poor Emrys. You don't even have to power to save Camelot now, you've exhausted yourself over the past few days. I guess you couldn't protect Camelot forever."

Merlin watches with wide eyes and trembles slightly. Morgana strides over to Gwen and whispers into her ear, "You never deserved my throne, peasant. You are nothing but a servant," then she slaps the queen. Sadly, Morgana had already frozen everyone in place, so none could do anything. "The throne with finally be mine." The witch takes a dagger and throws it at her brother. Merlin's eyes flash and the dagger falls straight to the floor.

"You will not hurt my friends! You see, Morgana, I many not be able to control my emotions right now, but I can definitely harness the power! You will never be able to get near Camelot again!" Everything in the room begins to shake. Merlin holds a fireball in his hand and throws it at Morgana. She easily deflects it.

"You are going to have to try harder than that, _Emrys_."

I would be delighted," Merlin growls and throws Morgana against the wall. "That hard enough? You have hurt everyone in this room. The time for bloodshed is over. _I blame myself for what you have become_."

"Oh, Merlin, just think. We haven't really talked. Other than me trying to get you semi-stable. We never talked about how you condemned my sister to a slow and painful death, thwarted my last plans to take over Camelot, and forced me to live in a hovel."

"Well, anyone who may have viewed me as an under-achiever, I am quite proud of those accomplishments. I could die _happy_. But, I know that one of us will die today, and I am more determined that it is going to be you than ever." Merlin throws more fireballs at Morgana until her hair is singed. "I would never let you burn, Morgana. I will only let you die, painlessly. I think that is more than fair." But, with a move of her hand, Morgana forces Merlin against a wall.

"Did you honestly think you could defeat a High Priestess?"

Merlin grins, "No, I thought I could beat you, a cold-blooded killer. You thought that your betrayal would kill me. No, it only made me angry and insane. Oh, but don't worry, those emotions should go away in a while." Merlin lifts Morgana into the air, and shoves her into the ground, breaking most of her ribs. "I gave you the option of painlessly, well, that deal is off the table. That's too bad, I wanted this to be clean." Merlin takes a sword from Arthur's belt, "Forged in a dragon's breath." Morgana's eyes widen as the blade penetrates her side.

"Cludiant i'r ystafell hunllefau," (transport to the room of nightmares [Welsh]) Merlin is whisked away and Morgana dies right after. Her spell is broken, and Arthur runs to the her side.

"Where is Merlin?" He shouts. "What did you do to him?" Lancelot puts a hand on Arthur's shoulder.

"Arthur, it's no use. She's dead."

"No! I need to get Merlin safe. I promised him that he wouldn't have to suffer."

"Sire," Gaius starts in a shaky voice, "If I am correct, Morgana transported Merlin to a place called the room of nightmares. Now, I don't know where it is, but Merlin won't last long." Anyone could see the tears on Gaius's face.

Gwen starts shaking, but in a small voice she says, "I know where Merlin is. The Dark Tower."

Gwaine looks close to tears. Leon, his expression is unreadable. Lancelot, is ready to do anything that he has to do. Percival is ready to leave right now. Concern is written all over Arthur's face.

"We leave at nightfall. We can get to the tower by noon and try to get Merlin out of there. The meeting is dismissed." Arthur picks up Morgana's body and has a private funeral for his deceased sister. Then, he leaves her to rest in peace.

Gwen basically stays in her the royal chambers sobbing while Arthur tries to comfort her. Gwaine goes to the tavern and gets so drunk that his head may possibly explode. Percival sits in silence with the horses. Lancelot tries to figure out what to expect when they get to Merlin. Leon gets everything ready for the journey and tries to keep the worry out of his mind. And Gaius, was able to partially hold himself together until he reached his chambers. Then he completely broke down on his cot.

The men finally leave their sadness and depression to get on their horses. Gaius gave Gwaine a potion to get rid of the drunkenness in his mind. Then, Arthur leads the group, heading to their nightmare for the second time, except without Merlin.

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

Merlin wakes up in a pitch black room. A image of Balinor comes in front of Merlin, "I took a sword for you! My blood is on your hands! You should have let Camelot burn to the ground!"

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Next, Arthur comes up in front of Merlin, "You will burn! You will die by fire! Sorcerer! I can't believe you fell for it! You will suffer. I can't believe you thought I would still be your friend." Arthur laughs at Merlin's foolishness.

Merlin starts hearing the screams of the mandrake and soon, his are mixed with them. Next, the worst thing happens. Freya appears and Merlin looks at her with a tear-stained face. Then she begins talking to him in a soft voice, "It's okay, Merlin. Calm down. I know it's your fault." Then her accusations become shouts, "You are a monster! Just like me! You are just a sorcerer! You will die at Arthur's hand, just as I did!" Then, Freya laughs as the image of her face.

Merlin covers his ears and sobs, "It's not real. It's not real," he repeats the mantra. Someone taps him on the shoulder and he just tries to ignore it. But then, he makes the mistake and looks up. It is all of the knights.

"We hate you. You betrayed us." Merlin screams and covers his ears.

"I told you to stay safe, Merlin! You have been a burden to me for twenty-two years! I should have drowned you when I had the chance!" His mother screams. Merlin lets out an agonizing yell as the tears fall from his face. "I hate you!"

Then, Merlin sees Will, "I took the blame for you! I gave up my life for you! It is your fault! I always hated you, Merlin! Never forget that!" Nothing is stopping the words from entering his mind.

Next, Gaius comes up to Merlin, "Oh, my boy. You have burdened me for four years. I have had to keep your secret and now you have thrown your life away! I despise you! You should die! You don't deserve any type of compassion!"

Arthur and all of the knights come up to Merlin. Voices overlap in Merlin's head, overwhelming him. "We hate you! You are nothing more than a servant! You have no title! You are a worthless freak!" Merlin is engulfed in guilt, depression, and despair. Then, the voices stop speaking, but the words still echo in his mind, as he rocks back and forth.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault. I didn't mean for it to happen. I'm sorry," he cries, doing anything he can to get the people he loves to forgive him. "I'm sorry," he whispers, over and over again as a mantra.

* * *

**Whoo hoo! Two updates in one day, you are so lucky and this is officially my first 10 chapter fanfiction! *fist pump* So, here is what happened, I basically got tired of all the Merlin whump, had Merlin have a pretty great moment where he is completely awesome, and then I went back to Merlin whump. I didn't do that on purpose, it kind of just... happened. Well, thank you Cathywren again for reviewing. EVERYONE PLEASE REVIEW! That button is calling your name.**

**Okay- Merlin quote: "You're the bravest of us all and he doesn't even know it." -Lancelot to Merlin.**

**XOXO,**

**~Lunatris262~**


	11. Chapter 11

3rd Person:

The knights try to force the terrible thoughts of what is happening to Merlin. None of them know what is happening, and Gwen's explanation was vague, but her emotions showed that the experience was traumatizing. Eventually, they make it out of the forest, with the help of Mordred's magic.

Then, the group encounters wyverns. Then, the creatures attack without mercy, but so do the knights. All of the animals are defeated, though the knights have a few scratches. They continue into the tower, waiting to see what has become of their friend.

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

Merlin holds his head in his hands, trying to block out the visions, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Fantasy began to blur with reality the day before, and if the knights don't get to Merlin soon, he will be beyond repair. Sometimes, the cracks show through, but, it gets worse and worse by the second.

A vision of Arthur appears, with all of the knights, "You are going to burn!" Arthur holds a torch in his hand and gets closer and closer to Merlin. Merlin doesn't cry, but just backs away in fear, shaking his head. The image disappears, but the voices echo in his head.

Freya, "_You are a monster! Just like me! You are just a sorcerer!"_

The knights, _"We hate you! You are nothing more than a servant! You have no title! You are a worthless freak!"_

Balinor and his mother. Gaius and Will. Merlin shudders, knowing that everyone he depended on hated him. But, then the warlock leans up against the wall, and sits there, eyes glaring into the blackness of the room. He lets the guilt overwhelm him, and despair take over. He doesn't cry to scream. He just listens to the words that the visions told him.

Then, a door is blasted open by Mordred and Arthur runs to Merlin, who flinches away at the touch. "Not real. Not real."

"Merlin, you're safe now. I promise."

Merlin shakes his head, "No. You said that you hated me. Despised me. Would _burn_ me. You aren't real." He trembles, "You all told me that I was just a servant. You aren't real. You aren't real." Arthur holds the warlock, even though the boy struggles to get away.

"Shhh, Merlin. You are safe, now." Arthur rocks Merlin back and forth in his arms, trying to calm him.

"Don't burn me. Please don't burn me. I'm sorry. I am so sorry," Merlin sobs, his whole body quaking.

"Hush, Merlin, it is going to be okay." Merlin shakes in Arthur's arms.

"It's my fault. My fault, Freya. NO! Please. I'm sorry." The knights look at each other in horror, almost brought to tears at the broken man that cries before them. "I'm sorry," Merlin whispers to himself over and over again. He eventually falls asleep in Arthur's arms. Lancelot takes off his cape and gives it to the king as a blanket for Merlin, who is shivering.

"What made him like this? He was getting better," Gwaine says quietly, trying not to startle the warlock into waking.

Mordred speaks up, "It is the mandrake root. The room is full of them. Morgana must have put a spell on them to haunt Merlin instead of Queen Guinevere. They creep into the darkest parts of your mind, making your nightmares a reality. After we get him out of here, it should eventually wear off, but it will take weeks, months, or possibly even years for him to recover."

Merlin starts to thrash in Arthur's arms with tears streaming down his face and his lip quivering, "Don't die... I love you... Freya, no... Stay with me, don't die." The pale man stops thrashing, but just whimpers now as he says, "Don't burn me, Arthur. Please. I didn't want to lie. It's not my fault. I waws born this way. Don't let me burn." Each time the king hears this, it is like his heart shatters. "Gwaine, Leon, Percy, I didn't want to lie. Please. Don't hate me. I'm sorry. Help me. Don't let Arthur burn me. Protect him. Please, I don't want to burn." The words comes out of Merlin's mouth slowly, but they get louder with each syllable. "Freya! Will! Father! No... It's my fault... I couldn't save you. I'm sorry," Merlin eventually starts to quiet, only making small murmurs into Arthur's chainmail as he is carried.

The warlock is comforted when his king whispers a reassurance in his ear, "Merlin, I will never let you hurt again. You are safe." No one realizes that the only person Merlin didn't have a vision of was Gwen, and that was because he knew that she would never do anything like that to him, he never felt that he was doing anything to hurt her. He always felt like he was a danger and a burden to his guardians, and was afraid that the knights would turn on him. Merlin always felt like the deaths were his fault.

Mordred transports them out of there, saying that he didn't know exactly what the place looked like, so it would have been dangerous. But, since he can envision the castle vividly, they make it to the city all in one piece. Merlin is still asleep, but is now peaceful and calm. Arthur helps carry him to Gaius's chambers, with a crying Gwen following. Gaius stands up to take care of any injuries Merlin might have, but when he finds that there are none, his worries are slightly lightened.

"Thank the gods. I thought it would have been much, much worse," Gaius said, letting out a breath of relief.

Gwaine is the one to give Gaius the bad news, "I'm sorry, Gaius. It is worse than you think. Mordred told us that this was the work of the mandrake root. Merlin jumps at the slightest touch or movement." Gaius frowns as he looks over at the sleeping warlock.

"He would be driven insane by nightmares, Sir Gwaine."

"Merlin was, Gaius. Eventually, we felt he was calm enough to be moved. But, he thinks we are all either hate him or are not real." All of the knights are crowded around Merlin's bed, waiting to see if he is even slightly recovered. "Is there any type of potion or even magic that may relieve him of this burden?"

"I am sorry, truly I am. But, there are only a few ways to stop the effects of the mandrake root. One is to destroy the plant, but considering how many Gwen said there were, that may not be entirely possible. It may only bring more pain to Merlin. Another, is a very powerful healing spell, but I am certain that Merlin may be the only one who would be able to accomplish it. Our only other option would be to wait it out." Merlin's eyes flutter open, but instead of their normal cobalt blue, they are a bright shade of gold. All of the men, plus Gwen, stumble backwards, away from Merlin. His eyes go back to their cerulean color.

Then, he starts muttering, "I'm sorry. Don't burn me. Please, don't hate me. I didn't want to lie. I only wanted to protect. I don't want to burn. I'm so, so sorry." Merlin turns to the knights and cringes as Gwaine walks forward. He immediately stops in his tracks as Merlin begins speaking, "I'm sorry. Please, help me. Don't let Arthur burn me." The knights don't want to move, in case their friend thinks that they would abandon him. "Gaius, I'm sorry. I never meant to be a burden. I didn't mean to put you in danger. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Gwen is weeping, remembering her experience in the dark tower.

"Merlin, it is okay. You are safe now," Gwen reassures him, slowly walking toward the shaking man. "It's Gwen, remember. I am not going to hurt you." She remembers how she was afraid at the slightest touch. She reaches out a hand for Merlin to take. "Merlin, take my hand. I promise I will not hurt you." Arthur looks on, slightly nervous for his wife. What is Merlin lashes out?

"Gwen?" Merlin asks in a small voice, almost like a scared child.

"Yes, Merlin, it's me. It's Gwen. You don't have to be afraid. Please, Merlin." The warlock reaches for her hand, and she smiles. But, moments after they touch, Merlin pulls his hand away as if he had been burned. "What's wrong, Merlin?"

"No, you can't be real. Everyone hates me. Everyone wants me dead. I'm a monster and a freak. Nothing but a servant." All of the knights wince at the last part of Merlin's words, remembering the Lamia.

"No, Merlin. It's me. It really is me. Please, Merlin, trust me. I am Gwen, and I am going to help you, just like you helped me. Now, Merlin, take my hand and I will sit down next to you." Merlin gradually puts out his pale hand and grasps Gwen's like a lifeline. The queen sits down next to the warlock. "See, Merlin. It's safe. No one is going to hurt you. I am sorry if I said anything or did anything to hurt you."

Merlin shakes his head quickly, "No. You never did and I knew you wouldn't. I didn't want to hurt you or for you to get angry. I'm sorry, Gwen."

"It's okay, Merlin. You are safe." Gwen smiles at Merlin, sensing trust. Everyone feels a slight pang of hurt or jealousy that Merlin didn't trust them. But, the group knew that this was a start on a long road to recovery for their friend.

* * *

**Okay, well, sorry for the wait... But in my defense, I did get you two chapters in one day! Well, I hope that this is sort of a realistic recovery. I thought that since Gwen was a servant like Merlin and had been in the mandrake room before that she should be the first one he would trust. I wanted to thank Cathywren and merlinfan42 for reviewing. Please review, because they really make my day! Any thoughts on Merlin's recovery? Tips? Praise or criticism? You know you want to review!**

**Merlin quote: "With all my heart." -Gwen to Arthur**

**XOXO,**

**~Lunatris262~**


	12. Chapter 12

3rd Person:

Every time someone other than Gwen neared Merlin, he backed away or freaked out. Gaius had given Gwen a list of medicine for Merlin, for the nightmares and delusions. She sat with him well after he was asleep, normally succumbing to slumber during the night in a chair beside Merlin's bed. Merlin was sobbing into the queen's shoulder, begging her to tell Arthur not to burn him. Arthur had tried to visit once, but Merlin sat in shock and with every step the king took towards the warlock, he back away farther, trying to merge himself into the wall. Merlin's nightmares were mainly about burning, his mother, and Freya. No one but Arthur could figure out who the girl was.

Merlin finally spoke words that made sense for the first time in weeks, "Gwen?"

"Hello, Merlin. How was your night?" Of course she knew the answer, she knew that Merlin was still plagued by nightmares. Gaius begins to walk into the room, and Merlin freezes in fear.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Gaius. I didn't mean to." The elderly physician rushes out, not wanting to disturb the distressed boy even farther. Gwen tells Merlin to take a few deep breaths, trying to calm the warlock. After a few moments, he is back in the present. "Nightmares again," he sighs, putting his head in his hands. He wants to forget.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Gwen tries to be considerate, but she doesn't know how Merlin will react.

"Not here. Can we walk today? I think I need some air."

The queen nods, "Of course. Do you want anyone else to come with us?"

Merlin decides that it is time to try to mend some sort of friendship, "Maybe the knights and Arthur?" he says quietly. Gwen bobs her head up and down, trying to contain her smile. It has been two weeks since Merlin had gotten back from the tower. Everyone knew that his recovery would be hard, but no one thought that he would be afraid of his friends. The queen was proud at Merlin's attempt to mend these broken friendships. She is even happier that Merlin had been becoming more and more coherent each day.

Gwen walks out of the room, telling Gaius of what just occurred. The old man smiles sadly. "Don't worry, Gaius, he will come around to you also. He just needs time."

"I just can't believe that Merlin would think that he was a burden to me."

"Gaius, you know as well as I do that the root pierces your soul and twists the mind. Merlin will come around. He will get better. He isn't screaming as much anymore, only when he is asleep."

"I know, now go find the knights and Arthur. Merlin really needs to get out, but don't let him ride. He isn't strong enough yet."

Gwen runs out and tells the knights. Gwaine is the first one in the room, then Lance, Arthur, Mordred, Percy, and Leon. They all bombard him with questions, but soon realize that Merlin is getting scared. "We can't be too loud," Gwen whispers, "The noise scares him." Then she walks over to Merlin, "It's okay. You said you wanted to go out, right?" Merlin nods quickly and takes Gwen's outstretched hand. She helps him up and he soon gains his balance. "So, Merlin, where are we going?"

"Somewhere is should have visited a long time ago. You wanted to hear about my nightmare, I guess you should know the whole story. I know the perfect place for it. Maybe _she _will even come out," Merlin says the last part quietly. He knows that he must talk to her. He knows that he needs to set things straight and try to bring comfort to her.

The group walks out of the city. Gwaine lightens the mood by telling one of his stories of a tavern fight. Merlin actually laughs, brightening everyone's spirits even more. Gwen makes a mental note to tell Gaius later. Then Lancelot walks up to Merlin. At first Merlin jumps back slightly, but then he calms as Lancelot starts talking, "Merlin, it's Lance. It's only me. I won't hurt you," he whispers. "You know that everyone thinks very highly of you. Never think that you are only a servant. You are so much more than that, and I am sorry that someone tried to tell you differently." Merlin looks up at the knight.

"Thank you," he murmurs, just loud enough for only Lance to hear. The knight can see the gratefulness in Merlin's eyes. Then, they all hear gasps from each other.

"It's beautiful," Percival whispers quietly. Some of the knights nod slowly in agreement, staring at the lake. Merlin walks out, nearing the lake.

"Freya," he chokes out, kneeling by the water. Tears fall from his face, shining like diamonds, but so much more precious.

"So, Merlin, do you want to tell us what this is about?" Merlin finally bobs his head and the knights sit down near him, none as close to the lake as Merlin.

"Okay. Most of my nightmares are about two things. The fire, which I know that you all understand. But, only one of you know this story, but it isn't even complete for him, because I was so enraged that I never finished it. So, here it is." The warlock takes a deep breath and starts. "So, two years ago, well, three today, something wonderful happened to me. I fell in love.

"Her name was Freya," Merlin's voice breaks and he sobs yet continues, "She was beautiful. Her brown tresses matched her soft eyes. They sparkled in the candlelight. I found her in a cage, caught by a bounty hunter. I released her, thinking that it could have been me in the cage. She was so frightened of me, I couldn't bear it. I wanted her to learn to trust again. Freya told me of where she lived, how it had mountains, wildflowers, a few cows, and a lake. She told me that she was cursed, I thought it was just magic. I told her that it was a gift. I tried to do so much. I promised to look after her. But, I couldn't prevent her death."

The group gasps slightly, but Merlin still continues, "She was a druid. Cursed by a sorceress to kill forever. At night, she would transform into what you would call a beast. I, on the otherhand, thought it was beautiful. She was cursed for protecting herself from someone who was attacking her. The man died, and when his mother found out, she cursed her to become the bastet, a giant-winged, bloodthirsty cat. Arthur dealt her a blow, and I used magic so she could escape. I brought her back to the catacombs and she was gentle when she saw me, even though she was still in her bastet form. Then, she changed as did her condition. The wound became fatal, and I brought Freya here, to the lake. She promised to repay me for making her feel loved. Then, she died in my arms." Merlin and Gwen were sobbing.

Merlin starts to finish the story, "Our love was one written in the stars. She now resides here, a spirit called the Lady of the Lake. Our bond was too strong to be broken, so fate left her here. That's what my nightmare is, seeing her die over and over again."

There is a long silence, then Gwaine speaks up, "Mate, I am so sorry. Why didn't you tell us?"

"Well, what would you do if I told you that I fell in love while harboring a fugitive?" Silence.

"Merlin," it is a female voice, but not Gwen's. Merlin feels a hand on his shoulder and turns toward the voice he knows all too well.

"Freya," he whispers. He sees the girl right in front of him. He hugs his love, showering her with kisses. "I've missed you. Please, come back with us," he gestures to the knights and Gwen. "Freya, I can't lose you again."

"Oh, Merlin, I've missed you so much, also. But, it would be a price. You of all people should know this," Freya says, sorrow lacing her voice.

"Maybe your service to the Old Religion will be over soon. Maybe I can make a plea to the gods. I will try anything. Freya, I don't want you to leave again. Don't go." Then, still holding Freya's hand, Merlin roars, "_O drákos, sas kaloún ! Éla brostá mou me Aithusa . Zi̱tó̱ gia ti̱n kathodí̱gi̱sí̱ sas."_ The knights hear the flapping of wings and back away. "Do not harm them. Neither are a danger to you."

"Hello, young warlock. What do you need my counsel for?"

"Hello, Kilgharrah. I am lost, I need your wisdom. Freya, I need her to come back. Please, how could we pay the debt to the Old Religion?"

"Oh Merlin, still so small for such a great destiny. I heard that the witch is dead, is the rumor true?"

"Yes, Kilgharrah. Now, please answer my question."

"She will be free soon, but you may not be pleased with the outcome."

Merlin gives the dragon a puzzled look, "Why wouldn't I?"

"In time, Emrys, in time. I must take my leave, but Aithusa could stay, if you please."

"Wait. What has happened to your wing? I could heal it for you."

"I'm afraid there is no cure for old age, young warlock."

Tears come to Merlin's eyes, "I can't do this alone. What will I do without you?"

"You will remember me," the dragon says wisely.

"I could cast a spell to ease your passing," Merlin offers, hoping to repay the dragon.

"I will be at peace, Merlin. I will pass in my sleep and make my way to Albion, to be with my kin. Aithusa will be the last dragon, and you the last dragonlord," Kilgharrah states.

"I will be the last of my kind, left alone again. And Aithusa will feel the same loneliness," then, to everyone's surprise, Merlin chuckles. "Unless there is another egg that you haven't told me about."

"Sadly, young warlock, this is the end of both of our noble breeds. Now, I must take my leave. Please, take care of the young hatchling. I will give you both a gift in my passing. Aithusa, your body shall be healed." Kilgharrah lets a shimmering breath come out of his mouth and everyone hears a few crunches and cracks. Merlin is overjoyed to see that Aithusa is back to normal. "To you, young warlock, I will leave my life early so that you can have your love back." The dragon looks to the skies and says, "I willingly trade my life for Freya, the Lady of the Lake's life."

As the dragon starts to die, Merlin whispers a spell to help the passing, along with his thanks. Then the dragon passes and begins to disappear. Aithusa lets out a small whine and she nears her master. "It's okay, Aithusa. I won't let any harm come to you. Come here, Aithusa." The young dragon makes her way to her master, but Arthur unsheaths his sword and begins to walk toward the hatchling. Merlin jumps in front of the dragon, "No! Arthur!" The king immediately stops. "Why?" Merlin asks through gritted teeth.

The dragon, the size of a five year old, cowers behind Merlin as he shields Aithusa. "Because, the last dragon attacked Camelot!"

"If had listened to the conversation, you would have heard that I am a dragonlord, you clotpole! Aithusa has done nothing wrong! She has been in pain, and I am reponsible. I will care for her. Please, Arthur, don't harm the her. It would be like killing a child." Merlin picks up the dragon and holds her, rubbing her stomach. "See, she means no harm. You can pet her, if you would like." Gwen nears Merlin slowly, and he nods. "She won't hurt you." Gwen touchs the dragon and rubs it's small head. "See? Aithusa is fine. I am going to let her go."

Merlin puts down the dragon, and sees that Freya is making her way out of the lake, something she had never been able to do. The warlock runs to her and lifts her up, spinning her around. She laughs and so does Merlin. "Freya," he breathes as he puts his chin on her shoulder.

"I will never leave you again," she whispers. Then, Merlin says a few words and something appears in his hand. He lets go of Freya and opens his hand, grinning. "You mastered the spell!" she exclaims taking the strawberry.

"I practiced every day, just for you." They smile at each other and hold hands. Merlin turns toward the group, "I think we can go back now. I have a few apologies to make. Including to you all. I am really sorry about everything. It's just... I was so scared that you would hate me. I thought that everything was my fault, and I felt so guilty." Freya leans her head on Merlin's shoulder. "Morgana used my weakness to her advantage. I am sorry that I was so distant."

"Merlin, don't you dare apologize!" Arthur says angrily, startling Merlin, "It isn't your fault. Now, let's go back to Camelot. I think Gaius would like to talk to you."

Freya whispers in Merlin's ear, "I would love to meet Gaius. You have told me about him, yet I have never met him." Merlin nods, both to Freya and Arthur. All of the knights follow Arthur, as does Merlin, who has his arms around Freya's waist.

"Come, Aithusa." Aithusa trots behind her master, wanting only to please him. They all walk back to the castle, and even Gwaine is unusually quiet. Gwen steps back so that she can introduce herself to Freya.

"Hello, Freya. My name is Guinevere, I'm King Arthur's wife, but you can call me Gwen."

"Hi, Gwen. Thank you for helping Merlin. I have been checking up on him lately. Sadly, I was not able to help."

"It was no problem. Everyone pitched in to help. I could get you some new clothes and chambers near Merlin once we get to the castle." Soon enough, they walk up to the castle. Merlin goes up to his room, realizing that today has been bittersweet. He goes to Gaius and tells him about Kilgharrah, but then Freya walks in and he tells Gaius about her, too.

"My boy, what was the price?"

"Kilgharrah said that bringing Freya back was a gift to me in his passing. I assumed his life was the price. Unless he kept it a secet. I remember him saying that I wouldn't like the outcome, I thought he meant that I would be upset over his death. But, now I am trying to convice Arthur to let Aithusa stay. She should not be out in the world alone, and we are both the last of our kin."

"I am happy you are home safe. Don't ever feel that you are a burden to me. You are precious and I value you like I would a son. Come here," Gaius pulls Merlin into an embrace and they both laugh.

"Thank you, Gaius. You don't know how much that means to me." Then, Merlin retreats to his room, unaware of what would occur the next morning, nor the deal that Gaius had struck with Kilgharrah.

* * *

**You guys got a lot of updates this week! So, I will try to update soon! Also, what do you think the deal was? I am pretty sure you can guess. Here is how to answer: REVIEW! Please? You know you want to. Okay, so, I guess that's it. See you next chapter- oh and by the way, I found some awesome fanfictions. "The Prophecy" by Viking Song and "Memory" by Merwholocked628. Also, "Waiting in the Dark" by Stealth Dragon They are great!**

**Quote: "We stand together," -Elyan to Arthur**

**XOXO,**

**~Lunatris262~**


	13. Chapter 13

3rd Person:

Merlin wakes up, about to find Arthur and get him for one of his meetings. The warlock gets up and dressed for work. He may not be his overly cheerful self, but he is happy to be of some use after three months. "Gaius?" Merlin checks to make sure his mentor is awake. "Gaius, I have to go to work. You should... Gaius!" Merlin runs to the unmoving body that lies on a cot. "Gaius! Wake up! Gaius, please! Gaius!" Tears start falling down his cheeks. "No! Gaius!" He kneels down next to the unbreathing man and breaks down completely.

He hears a door open and Arthur walks in, "Merlin, you're late! Where were... No," the king sighs. "Merlin. Merlin, let go." Arthur walks toward the sobbing boy. "Merlin, it is going to be okay. You have to let go of Gaius. Merlin, let go." Merlin looks up into Arthur's blue eyes.

"I can't Arthur. Because if I let go, it makes this all real. Gaius has to get up. I can't lose him. He was supposed to make it. We had a deal." Merlin turns back to Gaius, "Wake up. Please. We had a deal. We would get through this together. I need you to get up. I can't do this without you."

"Merlin, he isn't getting up. I'm sorry," Arthur takes Merlin's arm and tries to lead him away from Gaius. Eventually, they get a few feet away from the dead physician. "Merlin, you can get through this."

"We were supposed to make it together. We were going... to be able to... practice magic. Arthur... I can't... breathe..." Merlin tries to inhale, but ends up gasping and wheezing.

Freya walks in, slowly, "Gaius, is Merlin.. Merlin!" She sprints to her love and grips his shoulders. "Merlin, breathe. It is going to be okay. You have to look after me. Remember, you promised. Breathe, Merlin. Copy me," Freya takes Merlin's hand in hers, pressing it to her chest. "Copy my breathing, Merlin. It is okay. Don't worry."

Once Merlin has his breathing under control, he starts to talk, "I was so distant. I should've known. I should've known that none of them would hate me. I should have known that from the way that both Kilgharrah and Gaius acted. Gaius gave up his life... so we could be together," Merlin collapses into Freya's arms, weeping.

"Merlin, I promise, we will give him a proper burial. It is going to be alright," Arthur says, "I promise. Just please, hang in there." Merlin gives Arthur a small nod. "I need to go. I will come back as soon as I can." Arthur looks at Freya, who shifts uncomfortably.

"I'll take care of him, Sire." Merlin leans into Freya again, trying not to let his tears betray him.

Arthur reluctantly leaves to prepare Gaius's funeral. He tells the knights and Gwen what happened. Lancelot and Gwaine go to Merlin's chambers, finding Merlin leaning on Freya, still crying.

"Hey, mate. It's going to be okay," Gwaine says, putting a hand on Merlin's shoulder, causing him to jump slightly. "Sorry."

"Not your fault. None of it was your fault."

Merlin looks up at his friends and Lancelot smiles, "I know what you need."

"What?" Merlin looks at Lance, wondering what could fill the huge hole that was left in his heart.

"You need to go into the woods, get all of your grief out, and then visit your mother." Merlin nods and grasps onto Freya's hand. "I'll go get the horses. The five of us will go. Is that okay?"

"I don't want to leave him. Gaius was like a father to me. Could you get to my mother? Take Gwen, my mother knows her." Lance and Gwaine nod and get to their horses. Merlin watches as they leave the gates. "I'm so scared, Freya."

"I know, Merlin. But, we can get through this. Everyone is going to help you." Merlin nods and leans into Freya again.

"Never leave me again."

Freya runsher fingers through Merlin's hair, "Wouldn't dream of it." Merlin falls asleep on Freya's shoulder. She stays there, whispering promises that he may or may not be hearing. Then, he wakes up in a fright, "Calm down, Merlin. It's just me. Just Freya."

"Okay," Merlin sighs. "Mother is here! Come on, Freya." Merlin takes a blanket and puts it over Gaius.

Then, the two lovers run down the corridors to the castle doors. Merlin looks from side to side. "Hi, Merlin," a soft voice says. The warlock whips around and runs to his mother.

"I missed you. I am so sorry for anything I did wrong. So sorry," he saysm, half caught up in a mandrake root nightmare. Gwen walks over to Merlin.

"Merlin, you are in Camelot. You are safe. You have done nothing wrong. Come on, snap out of it." Merlin eventually let go of his mother, but his eyes are red and puffy. Hunith puts a hand on her trembling boy's shoulder.

"You have done nothing wrong, my boy. I have never regretted anything. Merlin, everything is going to be okay. We can get through this." Merlin gives her a sad smile and nods. "Now, why don't you introduce me to your friend," Hunith gestures to Freya.

"My name is Freya."

"Merlin told me about you. Didn't you..."

"I came back yesterday."

"Well, I'm glad that Merlin can be happy with someone. It's been a pleasure to meet you, but I should go and say hello to the king. It would be rude not to."

Hunith ascends the stairs with Gwen, the queen leading her to the throne room. Gwaine turns to Merlin, "Your mother is really sweet. She was asking about you the whole way here."

"Thanks," Merlin mumbles, "I mean it. My mother has had to deal with a lot."

"Mate, you have, too. If you want to talk about it, we are all here for you." Merlin nods.

"I am still so scared. I hid for my whole life. I don't like to talk about it much. I guess it's just a habit. Um, I'm gonna go, because Freya wanted a tour of the castle. I'll see you around." Merlin walks off with Freya, who is very concerned for her love.

"Are you okay, Merlin? We can talk about it."

"Arthur is making magic legal tomorrow. I know that something is going to go wrong. I can feel it. Be careful."

"I promise."

Then, the two go around the castle, laughing and kissing. It was so fun that Merlin almost forgot about Gaius. Almost. He knew that it would always appear in the back of his mind. But, Merlin couldn't put his finger on what was going to happen tomorrow. All that the warlock knew, was that it would be completely tragic.

Merlin tells Freya that he needs to leave. Freya retreats to her chambers, telling the warlock that she will go and talk to Gwen later. "She can show me around more. Just come back soon." Then, she pecks Merlin on the cheek and goes to her room.

Merlin then feels the grief overwhelm him. He runs out into the rain, going into the field that he knows so well. He can't call on the dragon. He can't call his father. He can't even get Gaius. All he does is scream. Rain and thunder comes down from the heavens and even Arthur knows that Merlin is causing this.

Merlin just yells at the skies and sobs, letting his tears merge with the rain. Arthur runs to Merlin and holds him, knowing how the warlock felt. These screams were like having a part of you ripped mercilessly in half. "Hush, Merlin. It will be okay. Please. Please, Merlin, I swear that everything will work out. Calm down." Arthur strokes the boy's hair as the agonizing screams begin to fade and storms come to a stop.

"Does the pain ever go away?"

"Honestly, Merlin, I don't know. Somedays, you don't feel it as much, others, it feels just like this. But, Merlin, you will get through it. You are strong and you have friends that will help you."

"Help sounds nice," Merlin says quietly.

"Yeah, so let's get you back to Camelot. Are you going to be ready for tomorrow?"

"Scared," Meriln whimpers as Arthur helps him up.

"Don't be."

"Arthur, be careful tomorrow. Something is going to go wrong..."

"One of your funny feelings?" Merlin nods. "Okay, I'll be careful. You too, I can't have my protector getting injured, now can I?" Merlin laughs. "That's better. Now, come on, I'm sure Hunith and Freya want to see you before..."

"Yeah, I guess they would. I never thought that I could do something like this. I mean, why would I want to control the weather?"

Then, the two laugh, "Well, I'm happy that you are back to cracking jokes. Just, do me one favor?"

"What is it?"

"Don't ever make yourself depressed like I saw you before. Talk to someone if you start to feel like that again," Arthur practically begs.

"Aw, you care," Merlin says, half joking but also serious.

"You are my best friend, and I can't bear to lose you." Merlin and Arthur smile at each other.

"You aren't my best friend," Merlin says, watching Arthur's face fall. "You are my brother, my other half. I have heard that we are two sides of the same coin." Then, the king smiles.

"Idiot."

"Prat."

"Clot-pole."

"That isn't a real word, dollophead."

"Hey! That's my word!"

"Merlin?"

"Shut up?"

"How'd you guess?" Then, Merlin dashes back to the castle. Arthur is surprised how fast Merlin can run.

Arthur is out of breath by the time they are at the steps, "Since when did you get so fast?"

"Ever since I had to add a few holes to your belt," Merlin laughs.

"MERLIN!" That night, Freya hears Merlin whimpering and goes to him in the night.

"My love, wake up. It's only a nightmare. Come on, Merlin, wake up. It's Freya. You are safe." Merlin awakens and he gasps for air. "It's okay, sweetie. Merlin, calm down."

"Stay with me?" Freya nods and climbs into the bed with Merlin. "I'm afraid of losing you again."

"I won't leave you, I promise." Freya uses Merlin's chest as a pillow. "Good night, my love."

"Good night, Freya." The two fall asleep together, Merlin's arm holding Freya and Freya leaning into him, waiting for what tomorrow would bring.

* * *

**Okay, so sorry for the wait, my internet went down... So, what do you think will happen in the next chapter? (insert Morgana smirk here) I also have writer's block to blame, because I actually tried very hard to write this chapter for three days, and I sat in front of my computer... and sat... and sat... and then I realized, "Come on Lunatris! It's been three days!" (um, yeah, I'm not telling you my real name sorry) So, I think that because I had so much trouble with this chapter, I should get many reviews. Please? Pretty please with strawberries on top? I have a problem! I am running out of quotes for Merlin! *gasp* PM or review any quotes you think I should use that I haven't already! And, I think I can finish this in about 2-5 chapters. Hopefully... Well, see you next chapter!**

**Quote: "How long have you been training to be a prat, ****_my lord_****?" -Merlin to Arthur.**

**XOXO,**

**~Lunatris262~**


	14. Chapter 14

3rd Person:

Merlin wakes up and Freya goes to her room to get dressed. Merlin puts on his usual attire, but instead of a red neckerchief, he wears a black one instead. Freya puts on a long black dress that would have suited Morgana. Merlin holds Freya's hand tightly as they walk to the courtyard together. Arthur appears at the top of the balcony. "Citizens of Camelot. I am pleased to inform you that today changes history. Today, magic becomes legal. I do not share my father's views on magic, and have recently discovered that it can be a beautiful thing. Now, I will announce who my court sorcerer is. As of today, Merlin of Ealdor, son of the dragonlord, Balinor, shall be Camelot's official court sorcerer. Merlin, son of Balinor, do you agree to serve Camelot with your magic justly as court sorcerer?"

Merlin looked in fear from side to side. _Why didn't he tell me he was going to do this?_ Then, the warlock bolts away, Freya attempting to run after him, and leaving a bewildered Arthur behind. "Um," Arthur began, unsure of what to do, "Well, Merlin will be appointed at another time. Anyone who has magic can now use it freely if it is used of good. Thank you for your time." Then, Arthur and his wife disappear into the castle. Only to find Lancelot waiting in there.

"You idiot! Did you tell him you were going to do this?"

"I told him about the legalizing magic part… I though he would be happy!"

Lancelot sighs, "Merlin has been hiding his whole life, and you just told everyone that he has magic. How did you think he would react? We have to find him."

"He is probably in the tower. I know that's where he likes to think," Gwaine says, who somehow managed to sneak into the room without anyone noticing him. Eventually, the group finds Merlin, curled in a ball, in the tallest tower of the castle. Mordred is with him, so the group consisting of Gwen, Gwaine, Freya, Arthur, and Lancelot listen in.

"Emrys, you have nothing to fear. I understand, believe me, I do. But, you have to let go. I know that it will be hard to trust again, but, you must try."

"Mordred, I realize that I haven't been very kind to you since I came, I guess it is time I told you why. In the prophecy, it is said that you would ally with Morgana. It was told that you would be Arthur's downfall. I felt that if I had let my guard down, even for a moment, that you could hurt Arthur."

The young knight looks down, "I always knew it was something. But, you can trust me, now. Morgana is dead, so the prophecy cannot happen. I promise you, Emrys, I will never try to harm Arthur or your destiny. Just trust me, give me a chance."

"Mordred, I have learned to trust you, over time, I began to realize that you wouldn't turn on Arthur, that you looked up to him. I don't take care of Arthur _just_ because it is my destiny, I protect him because he is my friend. Just as I have protected you, and the knights, and Gwen. I care for all of you, and I am so sorry for hurting you and everyone else." Merlin sighs and lets out a shaking breath, "I just don't understand why he wouldn't have told me. I never wanted recognition."

"Well, it seems a little late for that… All those times that Arthur had put you in the stocks, couldn't you have just escaped with magic?"

"Well, I could have, I just thought it was too much fun, you know, having rotten fruit thrown in my face." Mordred laughs, "I didn't want Arthur to find out about my magic. Well, I did, but, I kind of needed to live so that I could protect the prat."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"Well, first, I am going to tell Arthur that if he had told me about his little court sorcerer announcement, there wouldn't have been a problem. Then, I am going to go to the funeral for Gaius… After, I tell Gwaine, Lancelot, Arthur, Gwen, and Freya that I know they have been listening the whole time!" Mordred has a hard time suppressing a snicker.

"Nice," he whispers.

"Are you guys kidding me? I though only Mordred and… _Gwaine!_" Merlin yells, "I thought I told you not to tell anyone that I come up here to get away!"

"Sorry, mate, we were worried," Gwaine mumbles softly.

"Okay, well, if you all don't mind, I am going to go with my mother to say goodbye to Gaius, unless, you have another surprise for me." Not even waiting for a response, Merlin bolts out of the room.

"Well, I guess, let's go say goodbye to Gaius," Arthur says in a solemn voice. Then, the group follows, everyone keeping an eye on Freya, who looked as if she would cry. Then, the group makes it to the field near where Gaius would collect herbs for the medicinal remedies.

They all say goodbye to Gaius, and everyone notices how Merlin has tears just streaming down his cheeks. But, no one hears him whisper, "I am going to miss you and I will try to be careful." Then, Gaius is lowered into the ground in the wooden casket. Freya holds Merlin's hand and tries to console him.

The group walks back to Camelot, other than Hunith, who began her journey back to Ealdor. As they get to the courtyard, where, mind you, are many of Camelot's citizens, a sorceress comes out of nowhere. No one except Merlin notices how Freya begins trembling.

"Arthur Pendragon! I have come to take revenge on you! You must pay because of your father's actions!" The sorceress sees the young girl backing away, "Oh, Freya! What a nice little surprise! I would have thought my curse would have killed you, you little monster. No matter, I guess I will have the pleasure of that and killing the young Pendragon."

Merlin's blood boils as he shouts, "No! You will not harm Freya nor Arthur! This is my home! I am tired of having to deal with dark magic coming to take over Camelot! You shall not lay a hand on either Freya or Arthur! I am giving you one chance, leave or I will kill you!"

"No! Merlin, don't stoop to her level, please!" Freya pleads with the warlock.

"Oh, you monster, I see you have made a friend. What does he think he could do to stop me?"

"_Freya_ is not a monster! You, on the other-hand, I have my doubts about. Leave now."

"And what will you do? Even if you have powers, they are no match for mine," the woman cackles.

"I am Emrys. Oh, you know, the most powerful warlock to ever walk the Earth."

"But, you are just a mere serving boy!" the woman cries. Then, she throws a spell at Merlin, who easily deflects it.

"Get back, all of you! I don't want anyone caught in the cross-fire!" Merlin yells. Freya just stands there in shock, so Gwaine pulls her away. The warlock throws a ball of fire at the woman, who deflects it again.

"Oh, you are going to have to do more than that to protect your tyrant and freak!"

"I know, that's why I can do this," Merlin lifts a hand to the skies and then down to the woman. Rain pours down and lightning strikes the woman's heart, reducing her to ashes. The skies clear as Merlin's golden eyes turn back to blue, Freya breaks out of Gwaine's grasp as the warlock begins to fall.

"Hey, Merlin, I've got you. I've got you, my love," Freya murmurs as she catches the boy.

"You know they it isn't true. You aren't a monster," Merlin whispers to Freya.

"I know, Merlin, I know." Then, Merlin's breathing becomes labored, and Freya realizes that Merlin's side is bleeding. "Gwen! Gwen! Help me, Merlin was wounded!" Everyone rushes to the warlock. "Come on, Merlin, stay with me! Remember your promise! Please, Merlin, you promised," Freya's voice cracked. "My love, come on! You are going to get through this," Freya gives Merlin a kiss on the forehead. The knights help to get Merlin to the physician's room.

"D-did you kn-now th-at you still lo-ok like a p-princess?"

"Live, and you could be my prince," Merlin smiles.

"So, y-you are a p-princess," the warlock tries to joke. Freya removes the pressure from the wound and Gwen begins to clean it. "Ah!"

"Sorry, Merlin. I have to clean it so it won't be infected. If you make the night, you should survive, but it will take a while to recover."

"I'm t'rd," Merlin mumbles.

"Okay, Merlin, you can rest, now." Gwen whispers and the warlock leans back on the pillow.

"Freya. Freya," the warlock begins to murmur.

"I'm right here. Sleep, my love. I will be right here."

* * *

**Okay, so, two chapters in one day! Merlin must have helped me with magic! I am really tired, but I wanna write another chapter. Hahaha. If I post another tonight it will be a miracle. So, I need more quotes! Um, I was planning another character death, but... then I was like, no! Let's bring in the sorceress from Freya's story and kill her! (My mind can be twisted at times.) Would you believe that I almost had the sorceress kill Freya? I started to write that, and then, well, this happened. That is the true story on how you got two chapters in one day... So, review! Please?**

**Quote: "No, it's just another part of my charm," -Merlin to Arthur.**

**XOXO,**

**~Lunatris262~**


	15. Chapter 15

3rd Person:

"Ar'tur?" Merlin were the next sounds that came out of his mouth.

"Hey, Merlin. Good to see you back in the world of the living," Arthur laughed, "Do you need something?"

"Wat'r," Arthur hands Merlin a cup and helps him drink it. "How long was I out?"

"Two days. It took Gwen, Lance, Gwaine, and me to convince Freya to get some rest," then Arthur sees the fear in Merlin's eyes, "Merlin. Hey, calm down, she is fine. She is asleep in your room. I won't let anyone hurt her. No one will. And, you already took care of that." Merlin gives Arthur a confused look, so the king explains, "You put some type of force-field around her for a while. Whenever someone went near her, it shocked us. Nothing serious though, didn't cause any damage. It wore off when she whispered into your ear that she was safe."

"Okay, okay. She hasn't… called herself a monster… has she?"

"No, Merlin. Freya is fine. I promise, you have more to worry about than her. You are going to rest for three days, and then, if you wish, I will make you court sorcerer." Merlin nods. "Okay, you need to sleep and heal. I promise, she is safe. Freya is in your room, sleeping and holding one of your neckerchiefs like a lifeline."

"She was right, you know," Merlin whimpers, "I am only a servant."

"Merlin! No, you aren't! You aren't _just_ a servant," Arthur tells him while stroking his hair, "You aren't just a servant. You are so much more than that. You were able to prove that out in that courtyard. You are Emrys, the most powerful warlock to ever walk the Earth. You are brave, kind, merciful, and patient. You are Merlin, a friend of mine and the whole of Camelot. You are so much more than this, so much more than, _just_ a servant. Don't let anyone tell you different."

"Okay, okay. It's just, everybody doubts me. It's lonely, to be more powerful than any man you know, and have to live like a shadow… To be special… and have to live like a fool," Merlin sighs.

"When we went to Queen Annis, and she said that you were a fool… it was a joke for me. I didn't know you took it to heart. You aren't a fool. You aren't an idiot, that was another lie."

"No, that was just another part of my charm," Merlin grins. "I'm tired," Merlin's eyes begin to close.

"I'll let you rest, after all, you did just save Camelot, _again._" Arthur starts to get up from the stool, but Merlin grabs his wrist.

"Stay, please," Merlin whispers.

"Um, yeah. You are safe now, Merlin. No one is going to hurt you here." After a few minutes, Arthur hears the soft snore coming from his friend. He is heartbroken at how small and thin the powerful warlock is. The king doesn't believe that the caring man he calls his brother deserved all of this trouble.

"Thank you," Arthur jumps at the sound. Freya walked out of Merlin's room, still holding the neckerchief. "You don't know how much it means to him. To be accepted."

"I'm sorry… about you know…"

"Sire,"

"Call me Arthur."

"Arthur, you shouldn't apologize. You freed me and you were protecting Camelot. I should be thanking you. Listen, I will look after Merlin, you should get some rest. I must have been asleep for almost a full day."

Arthur gets up and goes to leave, but then Merlin starts thrashing around on the cot, "Don't hurt me. I'm sorry. No! Don't burn me! Arthur! No! Please! I'm so sorry! Arthur! Don't let me burn! Don't hate me! Don't hate me." Merlin's sobs break Arthur's heart.

"Merlin! Merlin, wake up! You are safe! No one is going to hurt you," Arthur shakes the warlock.

"Freya! Don't leave me! Don't die! Freya! I love you," Merlin yells, waving his arms around like a madman.

"Merlin! My love! I'm here! I'm right here! Come on, wake up!" Freya says to Merlin, trying to soothe him.

Merlin shoots up, almost hitting Arthur in the face. "You heard me, didn't you? I'm sorry. I'm still scared. Gaius," the warlock's voice cracks, "used to give me potions to stop the nightmares. But, then, I wouldn't want to wake up, so he had to stop giving me them." Merlin wipes away the tears that fell down his face, "But, now it's okay. I saw you both, I know that it wasn't real."

"Merlin, I promise you, Freya will be kept safe. And I swear, I will not let you burn. You are not worthless, you are not evil, and you are not a monster. I know you can't get rid of the scars, so here. 'w' is warlock. 'E' is Emrys. 'M' is magic. The meaning can easily be turned. You will not burn. I promise." Merlin nods.

"I believe you," Merlin says, and he means it, with all his heart.

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

3 days later-

Merlin kneels in front of Arthur, before the whole court. "Do you, Merlin of Ealdor, also known as Emrys, son of Balinor, promise to fulfil your duty as Court Sorcerer of Camelot to your capability?"

"I do," Merlin answers.

"Do you, Merlin, pledge your loyalty to Camelot and her rulers?"

"With all my heart."

"Then arise, Sir Merlin, Court Sorcerer of Camelot." Merlin stands and walks to Arthur's right side. An uproar of cheer echo throughout the throne room.

Later that day, Merlin and Freya go for a stroll in the gardens, "So, how are you liking it in the castle? I know it doesn't have a lake, but, we can always visit."

"It's beautiful," just as Freya says this, Aithusa comes out of the bushes. "Aw, look, Merls. It's Aithusa."

"Come, Aithusa." The little dragon trots over to Merlin.

"Da da." Merlin laughs and Freya does, too.

"Well, Freya, I don't have a ring or anything, but," Merlin gets down on one knee and his eyes flash golden, producing a red rose in his hand, "Will you marry me?"

Freya wraps her arms around Merlin, "Yes! Yes, my love! Oh, Merlin, I never want to let you go!"

"Um, Freya?"

"Yes, Merlin?"

"Need air," the warlock chokes out and the girl immediately lets go. "You are going to look like a princess!"

"I am going to feel like a queen."

"And I am going to be the happiest man in the world, my queen. Now, when should the wedding be?"

"As soon as possible. There should be mountains,"

"And wildflowers,"

"A few cows," Freya continues.

"And a lake."

"And a lake," Freya giggles.

"Now, my princess, you go with Gwen and find a gorgeous dress, I will go get a ring and another little surprise for you." Merlin can see the excitement in her eyes as Freya runs off. "Now, to get the ring and a crown." Merlin goes off to Arthur, hoping not to get made fun of for this. He knocks on the door.

"Enter. Oh, Merlin, you knocked. This is a pleasant surprise."

"Um, Ineedyourhelpwithsomething," Merlin says quickly, almost laughing at Arthur's confused look, "I need your help with something…"

"Go on,"

"Okay, so I proposed to Freya only an hour ago… and… she said yes. I need to know where to find a ring and a circlet."

"And why do you need a circlet?" Arthur asks, bewildered.

"Because, well, Freya and I have this thing about her looking like a princess. I thought it would be adorable if she wore a type of crown or tiara for the wedding. Also, I would like you to be my best man."

"Well, um, thank you. Congratulations! Ok, ring, um… Go to the cook's daughter, I think that is who did Guinevere's. I think her name was Susan. And the circlet, I'll talk to Guinevere about the circlet. So, when do you plan on announcing it?"

Merlin shifts, "Um, at tonight's feast…"

"That's great! When's the wedding?"

"Well, it's going to be small and at Lake Avalon. I have to get word to my mother, but… that's it. I'm planning three days."

"Okay, so… I'll plan the feast and you, just try not to worry. Who are your groomsmen?"

Merlin's face goes pale, "Um, well, I was thinking Lancelot and Gwaine. But, I had an idea. Wouldn't be amazing if I could get Aithusa to ride above the ceremony and drop the rings into my hand?"

"Yeah! That would be great!"

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

Later that night-

Merlin sat at the table, wearing a midnight blue shirt and his usual brown jacket. He has black trousers, brown boots, and a new blue neckerchief with the Camelot dragon embroidered onto it. Arthur tapped his spoon on his goblet.

"People of Camelot, I would like to make a toast to Merlin, our new Court Sorcerer. But, he is not only a member of the court. Merlin is a brave man. He is loyal, kind, and dare I say, wise. But, most of all, he is my friend. I wouldn't have it any other way. To Merlin!"

"To Merlin!" The rest of the court shouts.

"I have an announcement to make!" Merlin says, looking at Freya, who sits to his right. He holds out a hand and his fiancé takes it. She wears a beautiful blue dress that flows to the floor. The solid fabric underneath the dark blue chiffon, is a color that matches Merlin's eyes. "Freya and I are to be married in three days' time!" The crowd erupts in applause and Merlin kisses Freya on the cheek, earning a whistle from a drunken Gwaine.

The night goes smoothly, with much dancing and wonderful entertainment. But, then, Freya's favorite song starts to play, and she pulls Merlin back onto the floor. Merlin uses his magic to move the candle lights around the room. People gradually move off the floor, leaving just Freya and Merlin dancing.

_Heart beats fast_

_Colors and promises_

_How to be brave?_

_How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?_

_But watching you stand alone,_

_All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow. _

"This is beautiful," Freya whispers.

"Only the best for you, my love," Merlin whispers back. Then, Freya begins singing along, and Merlin joins in, too.

_One step closer_

_I have died every day waiting for you_

_Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you_

_For a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more_

_Time stands still_

_Beauty in all she is_

_I will be brave_

_I will not let anything take away_

_What's standing in front of me_

_Every breath_

_Every hour has come to this_

_One step closer_

_I have died every day waiting for you_

_Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you_

_For a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more_

_And all along I believed I would find you_

_Time has brought your heart to me_

_I have loved you for a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more_

_One step closer_

_One step closer_

_I have died every day waiting for you_

_Darling don't be afraid I have loved you_

_For a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more_

_And all along I believed I would find you_

_Time has brought your heart to me_

_I have loved you for a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more _

People begin filing out, and saying goodbye. Freya goes to talk to some of the staff because they have become close over the past days. Merlin goes over to Gwaine and Lancelot, "Hey, guys."

"Hey, mate, congratulations!" Gwaine says.

"Thanks, um, I was wondering, would you mind being my groomsmen? I mean, Arthur is best man, but, it would mean the world to me if I could have my three best friends up there with me."

"I would be honored," Lancelot says.

"Yeah, mate, of course!" Gwaine almost yells.

The morning after, Merlin and Freya ride out to give Hunith the good news. By the time they get back, Freya is off with Gwen, Susan, and Mary-Beth. Mary was one of the servants that attended Freya since her stay at the castle. Merlin goes to Susan later on about the ring, but to keep it a secret. The warlock also teaches Aithusa what to do with the rings. Then, the exhausted couple go to sleep in their separate chambers, both trying to calm their nerves about tomorrow's wedding.

* * *

**So, the next chapter is the wedding! And, I think I'll end it there. I meant to upload this last night, but fell asleep while writing it. So, I made it even longer today. Please review, and I hope you like it!**

**Quote: "I don't want you to change. I want you to always be you," Arthur to Merlin**

**~Lunatris262~**


	16. Chapter 16

3rd Person

Merlin went to Freya the next morning. "Merlin! Don't you know it's bad luck to see the bride in her wedding dress before the wedding?"

"Well, bad luck seems to follow me around these days. Besides, if I hadn't come this morning, how could I have given you this?" Merlin pulls out a silver crown that looks almost like what an elven princess would wear. He puts it on Freya's head. It has two beautiful lines that curve and entwine together until the center where a sapphire dangles, resting on the girl's forehead. "Now, you can look like a princess all the time. And once we are married, you will be a queen."

Freya laughs, "Why are you so good to me?"

"I can't help it. I love you. It's true, though, the Druids view me as their king. You will be my queen. I may not have riches or money, but, I will shower you with as much love and care that I can."

"I know, my love. But, you need to know, just as you told me, that you are not a monster. You are unique, and that is what makes me love you. Now, go, I'll meet you at the lake," Freya whispers.

Merlin goes back to his room. He gets into his navy robes for the ceremony. A midnight blue cape with a silver Camelot dragon sewn onto the back covers most of the robes anyway. The girls had set out over fifteen minutes ago. Gwen and Lancelot had helped with the decorations, along with Mordred, whom Merlin had also asked to be a groomsman. Gwaine was the one in charge of the wine, luckily, he knew that he couldn't drink it _all_. Now, all the men were on their way to the lake. Geoffery would be preforming the ceremony.

Merlin walked up to the lake and waited. Aithusa was in the woods, waiting until she was to present the rings. Merlin stood there, biting his lip, not making eye contact, and wringing his hands together. "You look a little nervous there, mate," Gwaine tells Merlin, laying a hand on the warlock's shoulder. Merlin almost jumped out of his skin.

"That is probably the biggest understatement in all of Camelot," Merlin retorts.

"Hey, she loves you, and you love her. I hear how she talks about you, she adores you. You have nothing to be afraid of."

"If nothing goes horribly wrong until we get back to Camelot, I will buy you a barrel of mead once the celebrations are over," Merlin mutters.

"I'm holding you to that," Gwaine laughs and walks away. Next, Arthur walks up to Merlin.

"Hey, it's time," Arthur whispers. Merlin nods and Arthur gives the signal. Freya begins walking down the grass in a straight line toward Merlin. She holds a bouquet of red roses with a few small bushels of strawberries mixed in. Her long white dress falls to the ground, flowing behind her. The crown Merlin had given her rested upon her head, a gift from the Druids. Guinevere, Susan, and Mary-Beth followed behind wearing short, red dresses, similar to the one Freya had been found in, only not as ripped.

Freya takes her place looking into Merlin's eyes. Geoffery begins, "We are gathered here today to celebrate the unity of a man and a woman in marriage. The couple has written their own vows, and will now promise them to each other aloud now."

Merlin states, "Freya, when I first met you, all I knew, was that I had to get you out of that cage and out of harm's way. The reason I had given you, was that it could have been me, in that cage. That was more of an excuse. I couldn't bear to see a girl, terrified of her own shadow, in chains freezing to death in a cage. In the process, of trying to keep you safe, I fell for you. I didn't want you to ever leave me, but, you did. In our last moments, you said I made you feel loved. I realize now, doing what I did, was a huge accomplishment, on both of our parts. When you came back to me, my heart stopped. You are the most precious thing in my life, and I promise to adore and protect you until my dying breath. I will shower you with red roses and strawberries every day. Even, when we are old and gray, I will be just as willing to admit my love for you, and I will care for you. I will always come back for you, and you should never, _ever_ be afraid that I will leave you behind. Remember my promise, I will look after you."

Freya, with tears of joy in her eyes, begins her vows, "My dear Merlin, when we first met, I was soaked to the bone, and afraid of everything around me. The world was dark, but you brightened the way. I was astounded at the fact that someone would go to such lengths to please me. With your jubilant approach at life, you showed me that the world wasn't only cages and nightmares. I realized, that you could never hate me for the curse that was forced upon me all those years ago. When I saw how kind you were to me, I didn't want to disappoint you. I didn't want to hurt you. I love you, with all my heart. You were even able to calm the ferocious beast that took over me with your colossal heart. I love you, magic and all. I promise to never lose hope and to always be faithful to you. I swear to love you with my heart, soul, and mind, until death do us part."

"With the power vested in me, I pronounce Merlin and Freya, husband and wife. You may kiss the bride," Geoffery gestures to Merlin who pulls Freya close and kisses her until they need to almost gasp for air, gaining whistles from Gwaine and cheers from the girls. Freya takes Merlin's arm and they walk down the aisle. Then, Merlin closes his eyes and kisses Freya again, but lightly. That is, until Freya is ripped away from him by a man with a black hooded cloak.

"Merlin!" Freya shrieks and the man has a dagger to her throat. She tries to struggle, but realizes that she could get cut if she moves too much, so stays still.

"Freya!" Merlin shouts, walking toward her.

"Don't come closer, or I will slit her throat open."

"Let her go! She hasn't done anything!" Merlin cries.

The man looks at the warlock, "Oh, but you have. You killed my wife! You killed Morgause! So, now, I will take away your wife. It's such a shame, I actually almost don't want to. Why waste such beauty? Maybe, I shall keep her for myself," the man sneers as he runs a hand down Freya's face, who gives him a look of disgust.

"No! Leave her alone! Please!" Then, Freya bites the man's hand, and the blade that was at her throat is then buried into her side, blood staining her white dress. "No! Freya!" Merlin puts out a hand and his eyes glow gold. The man is slammed against a tree and a sickening crack is heard. The warlock runs to his wife's side, "You are going to be fine. I promise. It isn't that deep. Here," Merlin rips the blue cape and binds the wound. "We are going back to Camelot. I can take better care of you there." Merlin lifts Freya into his arms and she leans her head onto his shoulder.

"Couldn't you transport me?"

"It could be risky with your condition."

"I can handle it. Just get everyone there," Freya keeps her eyes trained on Merlin's face, memorizing every detail. Everyone gets nearer to Merlin and then he says the spell and they are back at the castle. Gwen goes with Merlin to assist in cleaning Freya's wound. "Merlin. I can feel it. I am going to be okay. It didn't go in too deep."

After the warlock cleans Freya's wound, with Gwen's help, they change Freya into some more comfortable clothes. A silver tunic and blue trousers, still keeping the crown on her head. Then, Merlin puts his hands over Freya's injury, saying words of the Old Religion. He sees the cut clear, leaving only a scar, the size of an inch. Freya, who at some point drifted into unconsciousness, begins to stir. "Merl… Merlin," she murmurs, eyes fluttering open. Gwen turns to leave, and Merlin nods, then continues to look at his wife.

"I'm right here, Freya. I'm right here," he says, grasping the woman's hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Great! I'm sorry we had to miss the celebrations."

"We can celebrate another time, okay?"

Freya nods, "I knew you would keep your promise. I love you."

"I love you, too." Then, the two kiss, barely leaving any room to breathe. The two know that they will love each other for all eternity. Their love was written in the stars, and was told for centuries after.

* * *

**Well, that's it! Last chapter! I hope you all liked it! Thank you to Alana1982 for your review. And, I have a different type of quote for you all. Because this is the last chapter, I have decided to do a quote by Colin Morgan. Oh, by the way, I should be putting up another fanfic soon. Keep an eye out for it!**

**Quote: "I know this is the end, and I know this is goodbye, but thank you for being there on the journey with us because it has been a lot of fun." -Colin Morgan**

**XOXO,**

**~Lunatris262~**


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